Thursday, January 31, 2008

Yeah, I'm a legend. You know, they call me the cautionary whale.

This is a first for me.
Yes, I am used to getting obsessed with different things on an average of every fortnight or so(seriously) .Currently though, I am obsessed with a movie. One that I haven't even watched yet.

Juno

It is utterly ridiculous, even by my standards.
Oh sad, sick little me.
But I am insanely in love with the dialogue in this flick. It is impossibly witty and intelligent and yet sound like the kind of things I sometimes may blurt out randomly in everyday conversation.
Read this and tell me you don't think it's frickin' gold dust.
And from what I gather from trailers and bits and pieces here and there, this is one movie that doesn't patronize teenagers and/or make them out to be shallow or superficial. Because we aren't. Some of us,anyway.
The dorkishly adorable Michael Cera and also the, uh, Jason Bateman, mean that it will be a bit of a return trip to those glorious days when brand new episodes of Arrested Development still existed.
*Sigh.*
Plus it comes with a very high recommendation from Grace, and anything Grace says is the Gospel, pretty much.
And so, in addition to Juno (which I am already 100% certain is going to be an all-time favourite of mine) Bloody Awful Poetry is also itching to feast on this fantabuloustic movie (since Grace says I really should, and even her mom loves it,apparently.)

little miss sunshine

I love movies.
I truly, genuinely do.
I'm just no good at watching them, that's all.


In any case, awards season is going full swing at the moment. I just watched the Screen Actor's Guild thingie twice, which was nice and all.
But it got me thinking, about celebrities. Movie stars and TV stars and music stars, to narrow it down (since there are many different levels and branches of celebrity). Watching them alight from their Rolls-Royces and step onto a lush red carpet and sashay down said lush red carpet wearing their Valentinos and Chanels and and their 5.7 tonnes of diamond jewellery and looking all glamorous and sexy for the cameras and for us, watching at home. And we're admiring them for being so beautiful and composed and talented(and filthy stinking rich) when in reality, we made them.

(:)

We create celebrities! We make them who they are. We give them the money and the power and the opportunity to do what they do. And yet we look up to them and worship them? Why? If evey regular person in the world just stopped watching TV, or going to the movies, or buying DVDs and albums, or purchasing magazines, the entire freaking entertainment industry would just collapse upon itself. It would be like the fall of the Roman Empire, only flashier and shinier, with a lot more press coverage.
We make celebrities who they are. Us! The lowly consumers, the people who go ga-ga at the sight of the Brad Pitts and Gwyneth Paltrows of the world, who burn holes in our pockets for their sakes.
And they get twenty million buckaroos just to pretend to be a different person in front of a camera. To wear other people's clothes, say other people's words, pretend to live other people's lives and feel their emotions, all in the name of Art.
Pointless garbage.

But as the incomparable Oscar Wilde once said, all Art is really quite useless.

So long live them celebrities, ey?

Monday, January 21, 2008

Pick a fandom, Any fandom..

Heroes

It is quite obvious which fandom I'll be going for here: the amazing Heroes has just started its second season run in Malaysia(months after it finished airing in the states,making the Internet a very dangerous place for anti-spoilers folk like me). In any case,this is a little meme I found on a random LiveJournal blog(I told you I practically live there these days) and it seemed like a fun little piece to tackle. Most importantly I'd get to play around with PICTURES! And it satisfies self-indulgent bloggers(is there any other kind?) to yammer on about stuff they like regardless of whether anyone else is interested. If you're reading this you had better be freaking interested, that's all I'm saying.

1. The first character I fell in love with.
peter petrelli

Peter Petrelli. It's hard not to,when he's indulging in all these dramatic poses on top of high rise buildings in New York, and having cool clairvoyant dream sequences, and being all emo-ish and "It's my turn too bee somebodee now,Nay-than!" Seriously though. Peter,in my opinion,is impossible to dislike. Look past his initial tendency to be just a tad whiny,and you'll love the guy for his tenderness and his sensitivity and his genuine compassion for others, and his gentleness and empathy and utter selflessness. To be willing to die for the sake of a complete stranger,only knowing that it simply must be done,is either saintliness or pure stupidity. Either way, you'll find yourself going "Aww..!" at him,and wanting to throw your arms round him to shield him from the big bad ugly world that will taint all that is pure about him and shatter his childlike,touching faith in humanity.
Or maybe that's just me.
Also,it doesn't hurt that Milo Ventimiglia happens to be excessively pretty.

2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now.
Noah Bennet.Not my fault,since for the best half of the season he was being portrayed as the shady-not-so-evil-dude but still a dude-with-bad-intentions-dude.And we didn't even know his name until the last episode! Actually,he was being positively mean to everybody,including his own daughter. All those shady business trips he took, plus his knack of turning up in places he shouldn't be turning up at, and not to mention some pseudo-villainney dialogue, hardly worked in his favour. He made horn-rimmed glasses the most sinister thing in the world,next to ticking clocks. However as the season wore on,we began to see how misrepresented Mr.Bennet was (camera angles and scary music really make the villain,you know).
Bennet
But Mr.Bennet,despite having no powers to speak of,apart from those of a very good psychologist, is one of the real heroes of the show. The ordinary man who will willingly take a bullet and allow his memory to be wiped for the sake of his daughter's safety ain't no villain in my eyes.

3. The character everyone else loves that I don’t.
I'm not too sure about this one. I do not particularly dislike anyone on this show,to be honest. There is a level of moral ambiguity that avoids characters from ever being labelled totally evil or purely good. So any dislike I may have for a character is based entirely on how much they piss me off at any given time. And based on that I say I dislike Niki/Jessica Sanders.
Niki
She's not bad or anything. It's just that I'm so blah about her. She could get her head ripped off and not get a bat of an eyelash from me. I can't understand why there are people out there in Heroes fandom that do like her. To me she's a character who is just there to fill up holes in the plot. Who's gonna sleep with Nathan Petrelli? Hmm...oh! No problem,we'll just make Niki/Jessica do it.
She scared the hell out of me at the beginning,actually. To look in the mirror and see a reflection that isn't you,to black out for hours and wake up with bludgeoned corpses in your garage with blood on your hands... You're either insane, or that's how your power works,or both.

4. The character I love that everyone else hates:
I love Sylar. But who doesn't really?It's the Quinto factor. You're supposed to hate the guy,or at the very least, dislike him.

But he's the villain. That makes him mucho cool. He gets all the cool villain dialogue. He gets to cut people's heads open and steal their powers.He sometimes gets to wear really cool black trench coats. He has revealing conversations with the good guys and they never know who he is. When you think he's gotta be dead this time, he always comes back to life. Such is the coolness of Gabriel "Sylar" Grey. The coolest part is that he used to be super nerdy(but hot) watchmaker. Now he's a super evil(but still hot) super villain. Plus the fact that he's completely screwed up mentally,thanks to his demanding mother, who somehow warped his abilities to think and function like a normal human. So his madness has a great deal to do with his mother messing up during his crucial formative years in childhood and adolescence, and yet,at the end, you have to blame him for the choices he made. He actually tried redeeming himself towards the end,Sylar did. But he was always doomed to succumb to his insanity. A poor,misguided,psychopathic(but hot) bad guy.
Me likey. Very muchy.

5. The character I would shag anytime.
Peter,but he's a very honourable good boy.He would never shag inappropriately. Sure,he screwed Simone Deveaux without much of a second thought,but that was diffferent. He was genuinely in love with her (*pukes*) and had been for a very long time. I suppose the next best option would be West Rosen,who is also very pretty,thanks to Nicholas D'Agosto's genetic endowments(biology really counts on this show). But if he starts spewing his alien/robot philosophy at me, he's g-o-n-e, gone.

6. The character I'd want to be like.
I have never really thought about this one. It's much more comfortable just watching them die and get hurt and stuff. The coolest power to have,in my opinion,is Hiro Nakamura's teleportation and time travel thingie. It would make my life a heck of a lot more interesting. I wouldn't even need a bloody passport.
Hiro Nakamura
Claire Bennet's ability(rapid cellular regeneration) would also be cool,meaning that I would be effectively immortal. But who wants to live forever,really?

7. The character I'd slap.
Also depends on who pisses me off the most at any given time. I have felt like slapping virtually every single character at least once in the course of 24 episodes. Peter,for running away from help and being full of way too much angst and emo, and Nathan, for being such a politician, and at the moment Claire,for being such a hormonal wreck,with her talk of wanting to be "who i truly am". The entire Petrelli family,basically.
13
But to be fair, they really are a very good-looking family.

8. A pairing that I love.
I'm not too interested in romantic pairings within the show. The entire plot is far too fascinating and complicated to be wasted on who-is-crushing-on-who-subplots. Heroes isn't a bleeding soap opera,you know. Romantically speaking though, I did get the warm fuzzies for the brief but disgustingly adorable relationship between Hiro and Charlie.
Hiro Nakamura & Charlie
They had the cuteness factor going full speed,like there was no tomorrow.
Unfortunately Charlie got her head sliced open by You-Know-Who.
That was the end of that.

9. A pairing that I despise(d).
That of Peter Petrelli and Simone Deveaux. I hated Simone. She had everything going for her,and she had to be a wreck all the time. Plus she had to go sleep with Peter. My pure,innocent Peter. I wouldn't actually have minded her so much,but she was so fickle! She kept going between two men, breaking both their hearts and abandoning one or the other at 10 minute intervals and then acting the victim. Then she had to let poor Isaac(who honestly loved her madly) shoot her dead,and that screwed him up even more(drugs and psychic paintings included). But that was one of my favourite episodes. When Simone got a bullet right through her. It felt good.
P&S_OTP
I detest this scene from the bottom of my soul.

10. Favorite character(s).
*Noah Bennet
*Sylar
*Angela Petrelli
Those three are so mentally screwed up,they are liars and manipulators and top class thespians. They deal in secrets 99% percent of the time. They do the sickest things,but then you remember that their love for the family is what motivates them at least part of the time. It is impossible to hate them for being evil, and equally impossible to love them for being good. They are,quite simply,a caricature of humanity.
Angela Petrelli
Moral ambiguity rocks.

11. What are your favorite things about your fandom?
I love the plot,simply. That it is original and so unlike anything else on television today( you could say the same about MTV's Super Sweet Sixteen,but bear with me,yeah?). That it has the power to keep me hooked and watching every episode,something no show has done since way back in the days of the X-files (still the best show ever).
Also that the writers do not insult the viewers' intelligence. The storylines get so complicated sometimes, you fear that something must surely go wrong,and you actually sit down and sketch a rough plot to see where the mistakes were made,but then you get a headache and go watch Spongebob Squarepants instead. At least you don't have to think too hard about why starfish feel the need to wear shorts.
And it may sometimes be reminiscent of The X-men crossed with Days Of Our Lives,or something, and the science behind the show is usually far from accurate(but pretty accurate) and the dialogue gets cheesier than cheese,and the pseudo-philosophic monologues may grate("Sometimes questions are more powerful than answers. How is this happening? What are they? Why them and not others? Why now? What does it all mean?". You're not making sense! You're not making sense!!) but what it never fails to do is to tug at ye olde heartstrings, jerk a few tears, rip out your soul,tear it into little pieces, make you all emo and angsty for a couple of hours, and feel all tender and deeply connected to the rest of the human race( until the next time your neighbours start setting off fireworks for Chinese New Year's).

12. What are your least favorite things about your fandom?
I refuse to answer this. Refer to question 11.


13. What is your deep, dark fandom secret?
Until this very day, the first thing I say when I see a cockroach is "Sylar!" and then I make my mother kill it and then we discuss the representative symbolism of a cockroach in terms of Sylar's failure to ever die, and Mohinder Suresh's theory of God being a cockroach due to its being the most highly evolved species on the planet,even ahead of humans.
Also sometimes I daydream about Milo Ventimiglia being topless.


There.
Done!
*beams*
This wasn't exactly taggage,but I'm going to tag a few people anyway.
Grace
Hannah
I.Mastermind(kikistrike?)
and anybody else reading this,of course.
Just do what I did,pick a fandom,any fandom,and have fun with it! It can be anything you're a fan of, anything off TV,a movie franchise,a book,quite literally anything you want. I'm sure you people are going to come up with stuff more entertaining and kick ass than mine,so I look forward to that!

In the meantime, I plan to finally get my copy of Brokeback Mountain from my aunt,and actually watch it after all these months.
heath

Rest in peace, Mr.Ledger.

Monday, January 07, 2008

And I thought "BAHAHAHAHA! plagiarism!

"List your favorite female characters and examine what they have in common!! Is there a theme? Or do they strongly contrast each other? "

I found this on some body's livejournal.
And I thought "BAHAHAHAHAHA! Plagiarism!

Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)
Hermione GoF open book


Hermione was portrayed as an absolute hormonal/woman-scorned mess in the 6th book. I was shocked that she would go down to such a level for the sake of a whiny freckled immature red-head. But essentially, I do adore her. Yeah,so she nags and nitpicks and she's a total stickler for the rules, as well as being too bloody intelligent for her own good. But sometimes it's her negatives that stick out more than her positives,for the simple reason that we are viewing the Potterverse through Harry's eyes,and our perspective is hugely limited and depends a great deal on his perspective.
I admire intelligence in anybody, and it's always a kick when you find out that throughout the entire book, Hermione is usually(not always,but usually) 5 steps ahead of everybody else. It is a fact that in all the books Hermy is the one character that provides the final clue,or the key to unlocking whatever mystery needs to be solved,or the who gives the accurate warning that nobody bothers to listen to.
She sucks at interpersonal relationships,but she cares about her friends far far more than she is given credit for. Often she puts Harry and Ron's safety way above their friendship,doing whatever it takes to keep them out of danger despite realizing the damage she could(and did,many times) cause to the ties between them.
There is also an air of slight mystery about her. In fact,we know a heck of a lot more about Voldemort than we know about Hermione. Apart from knowing her parents are rather well-to-do dentists, that is pretty much all we are exposed to about Hermione's personal life. If there's one thing she is utterly spectacular at, it's at keeping things to herself.
Personally I don't feel Emma Watson does quite enough justice to the character in the movies. Emma is just too pretty. It's wrong.


Agent Dana K. Scully (The X-Files)
x-files

I trust I don't need to elaborate? She just plain kicks arse,that's what.
She's cool.
So cool she shits ice cubes.
Sometimes she was a bit of a cold hard bitch.
Sometimes she was a tad annoying when she found scientific explanations for everything instead of accepting the impossibility of it. But eventually she mellowed out and didn't comment so much on Mulder's UFO posters.
Oh wait. She got pregnant didn't she?
Wasn't it alien spawn??
*runs off to check canon*
But still the coolest female character in the history of television.

Eowyn (The Lord Of The Rings)
eowyn
She was only one of the two major female characters in JRR Tolkien's fictional universe, and unlike the elf Arwen who just lay around looking pretty in gorgeous flowing robes pining for her lost love (or at least,she did in the movie,where she was also incorrectly-and unfairly- portrayed as having heroically rescued Frodo&co. from the Ringwraiths. To quote Lily Moscovitz "It was the grossest mischaracterization since studios tried passing off William Shakespeare as a hottie with a a six-pack and a full set of teeth in Shakespeare In Love).
Anyway.
Eowyn was very brave and all when she disguised herself as a warrior dude and went to war and killed the King of the Nazgul in the coolest kick-ass showdown ever!!
She also had the hots for Aragorn but he went back to his stupid Arwen in the end, (intelligent character analysis,ey?) but it didn't matter because she managed to hook Faramir,who is not only nicer than Aragorn but also a heck of a lot younger,and also somewhat cuter when compared to Viggo Mortensen's receding gums.


Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)
rose tyler we miss you :(
Rose. Dear dear Rose. It could have turned out oh-so disastrous. Pitching a former not-so-good pop star in a cheap looking sci-fi show against an actor twice her age? The entire fate of the show rested on whether Billie Piper could make the character work.
And oh boy,did she.
Her chemistry with the Doctor(both the 9th and 10th) was nothing short of perfection. Rose, a shop girl who never took her A-levels,showed remarkable interpersonal intelligence,empathy,selflessness,a quick wit,unconditional love, guts, blah blah.
Generally,she just kicked ass.
The relationship between Rose and the Doctor was devoid of sexual tension and inappropriate physicality,which made the whole thing so much more poignant and solid and real. Rather than get naked and sweaty and procreative, the two profess their love through their undeniable um,readiness to quite literally die for each other as opposed to sex or mushy dialogue.


And thus we see that my favourite fictional female characters all have one common theme
They all kick ass.
Hard.

That's about as intelligent as this post is gonna get.



Sunday, January 06, 2008

Oh woe! I lack Inspiration!

Face it. I stink at this blogging business. It's been over a month since I last updated, and I've been reading through a bunch of other blogs, including those on Livejournal.
People on Livejournal either
a. Have no lives
b. Have better ways of spending 24 hours than people on Blogger. Heck! Some of them have over 300 posts a year! It's crazy! Those freaks should get a bleeding trophy for being compulsive yet readable livejournallers!


In any case,this being the new year of 2008 and all that jazz, I thought I'd make a fresh start and be serious about blogging for once.

bloody awful poetry's new year's resolutions
1. I will become a regular and serious blogger. I will put them Livejournallers to shame. SHAME I tell you!


2. I will not worry so much about how many people actually read my blog. I was doomed from the beginning to be the only person to gain any enjoyment from Bloggeddy Blog Blog anyway.

3. I will not feverishly check for comments every 10 minutes after a fresh post.

4. I will post about interesting and hopefully entertaining topics,although I will not pretend to be
a.modest
b. intelligent
c. overly concerned with world affairs (I'm miserable enough as it is)
for the simple reason that I am none of those things.

5. I will stop thinking impure,horny thoughts about David Tennant. It is most inappropriate.

6. I will stop thinking impure,horny thoughts about John Barrowman. Pretty though he is.

David Tennant,The Doctor,Jack Harkness,John Barrowman,Doctor Who,01100100


7. I will limit my obsessive behaviour to at least two television programmes and one male specimen per month,or vice versa,or any combination of the above mentioned combinations.

8. I will learn how to drive.
A car.

driving

9. I will finish reading Anna Karenina.

10. I will stop indulging my "clicky compulsion" by clicking on pop-up ads just to see what happens. It's bad for my computer.

11. I will continue to swear and use bad words only in my head. Or I will learn swear words in another language.

Swearing