I Come Bearing Insults, To Spread The Hatedom

The 19 Most Hated Meme

1. Most Hated Food
Fish, without a doubt. I don't know exactly why, but I've had a bone to pick (bahahaha! Pun!) with fish since as far back as I can remember. I will however, eat it if you cook it in a way that will make me forget that it is fish. Like, I don't know. Mash it. Defishify it.

2. Most Hated Person
Um. Most hated is quite a strong concept, and I'm not entirely sure I hate a human being as much as I do hate fish (and if I did, I wouldn't be blogging about it). So. Yeah. Hitler?

3. Most Hated Job
I've never had a proper paying job before, but I could probably mention a few jobs I've done for which I do heartily wish I had received some form of reward. Or compensation, more like. For instance, plucking grey hairs off my mother's scalp.

4. Most Hated City
I've never left my own country in 18 odd years, so I'm hardly justified to hate any city. Even the one I live in, because however filthy and disgusting it is, it is home.

5. Most Hated Band
Too many to list out, but Simple Plan has been grating on my nerves for a good fortnight now. Mainly because I have a very hard time believing that my 3rd Most Favourite Country On Earth is actually capable of producing music that is not awesome.

And I refer to Canada, by the way.


6 - Most hated website.
What, the concept of hate even extends to the Internet now? Gosh.

7 - Most hated TV program.
Koffee With Karan. Even the way it's spelled fills my soul with the black bitter bile of loathing. And it doesn't help that the host happens to be the smuggest, most self-satisfiedest jerk in the Southern hemisphere, whose guests are all Bollywood types who are equally as full of themselves and their own perceived awesomeness.

9 - Most hated British politician.
Hey what happened to number 8? Where is it? What have you done to it? And don't try to distract me with all this politics talk, you.

10 - Most hated artist
I don't hate artists. I just don't understand them a lot of the time, and I don't exactly begrudge them for it.

11 - Most hated book.
Twilight. I rue the day Stephenie Meyer and her agent and her publishing house and their distributors all combined their Evil Forces Of Evil to unleash the power of this glittery piece of puerile garbage upon the unsuspecting multitudes.

12 - Most hated shop.
The one at the end of my street, because it never ever stocks any Sprite when I want it. Stupid shop.

13 - Most hated organisation.
Um. Carrot.

14 - Most hated historical event.
I don't hate historical events. How can you hate an historical event? You're supposed to be all objective and distant and factual about it, however much personal interest or emotion you may have invested in it. Now, if you'd have asked me what my most hated event of the past is, I'd have an answer for you. But I is not telling.

15 - Most hated sport.
I don't hate any particular sport either, but I don't get a lot of them. Like baseball. That does not make sense to me. And boxing. And synchronized swimming, which is very pretty but also kind of pointless. Heck, all sport is pointless.

16 - Most hated piece of technology.
iPhone. Because I don't have one.

17 - Most hated annual event.
Manchester United winning the English Premiership. Because it's like a formality now. Like the sun rising, or the tides coming in, or my being awesome all the time.

18 - Most hated daily task.
Waking up in the morning kind of sucks, does it not?

19 - Most hated comedian.
I can't think of any that I hate, but I tell you what. I am developing a seriously unhealthy obsession for LOLcats. Those things are funny, and I hate cats. Hate them.

As Anthony Said To Cleopatra As He Opened A Crate Of Ale...

Consider this the first and the last time I ever indulge in American Idol-related pimpage. I don't usually get into the stuff on this here blog, mainly because the show doesn't interest me that much, plus it would be like invading Beckeye territory, which is something I don't want to do. Beckeye , by the way, is responsible for the greatest American Idol recap posts in the history of the existence of the Internet, and you should all go read them right now, because they make my Wednesdays and Thurdays worth living (or Tuesdays and Wednesdays for you North Americanizers, keeping in mind that many of us Asians live like, 24 hours in the future, because we're just awesome like that).
But I am actually really looking forward to this year's finale, and my Ego of Infinite Proportions longs to have its say regarding the last two contestants as well, so here goes.

Why Adam Lambert Is Made Of Awesome


1. The lad possesses a general air of fierce fabulousness, as many would say.

2. His wardrobe is a feast for the eyes. When was the last time you saw green hair, graphic tees, coloured leather, eyeliner, blue nail polish and inappropriately tight jeans all one person at one time on a TV show that isn't Rockstar Supernova?

3. He is as different as different gets on Idol. Nobody else has or will ever have the audacity to take on Cher and the Rolling Stones and awesomeify it all in that Lambertsy fashion, the way he does. He seems utterly unapologetic for who he is and what he looks and sounds like, and strikes me as being a very nice and genuine sort of guy to boot. Also, the dude is like a strutting, shrieking antithesis of everything Idol stands for. How can you not love him?

4. Also, it takes talent to scream in tune. So there.

5. He is so awesome that he doesn't even need to win this shindig to continue being awesome. That's how awesome he is.

Awesomest Exemplification of Individual Awesomeness...
Was when he covered Tears For Fears' Mad World . I was majorly pissed at him for not revealing that he had taken the arrangement off Gary Jules' version, which is featured in Donnie Darko, but Adam did such a terrific job with it, I simply could not stay mad at him. Also, he was sitting on a transparent chair for that performance. The transparent chair, it is Too Kick Ass For Words. I hope he uses it again.


Why Kris Is Made Of Awesome *
*yes, Kris with a "K". Because he is THAT awesome.



1. He's Pretty. I mean, seriously. I've heard a few people mention that he resembles a monkey, but you must admit that he makes a very dashing, fetching specimen of monkey indeed.

2. Kris caters almost exclusively to one of my favourite musical genres ever; Dude With Acoustic Guitar (regardless of the fact that he leans more towards the poppier side of said genre). You know, scratch that. It's more like, Pretty Dude With Acoustic Guitar, if you wish to get specific.

3. His shyness and humility are, as far as I can tell, entirely and purely genuine. He's quiet and unassuming and reserved and through it all manages to come across as endearing and a total sweetheart and a real Nice Guy. I mean, like last week, when the judges were supposed to pick a song for each contestant and give them some one-on-one coaching and stuff? And Kara allegedly did not even bother showing up for Kris, and then proceeded to diss his performance that night. And the guy just kind of smiled and said not a word. If I were him I'd probably have thrown a bitch fit roughly the size of a baby grand piano in her general direction.
Kris also sometimes wears inappropriately tight jeans, like Adam. But we won't go there.
No, really. We won't.

4. He chose to sing Falling Slowly off the soundtrack of Once that one time. I frakking LOVE that song, and I never thought I'd live to hear it performed on Idol. And the thing about Kris is that he may not have the most impressive vocal chops around (certainly nothing compared to Adam) but he really seems to honestly mean every word he sings.

5. He's roommates with Adam, or so I've been told. And come on, some of the fabulous awesomeness has to rub off on the little dude, right? He already has the blue nail polish one one thumb.


Awesomest Exemplification Of Individual Awesomeness...
Was when he did that stripped down acoustic cover of the Kanye West song. That, like Adam's Transparent Chair of Awesome, just kicked ass. Hard. Or as hard as sweet little Kris can kick it. Which is, yeah, pretty hard.


To conclude, I don't really care who wins. It is a matter of no real importance (but we like our superficiality here, so whatever).

Oh My God, You Are Even Better-Looking Than You Were Yesterday!

True Blood (HBO)


The Premise
In a world where the existence of vampires has become common knowledge as well as fodder for all sorts of social and political upheaval (in the States, at least) a very hot and gentlemanly vampire named Bill Compton decides to move back to his old home in the tiny little Louisiana town of Bon Temps and falls in love with the mortal mind-reading waitress with a penchant for very short shorts, Sookie Stackhouse. Seriously. That's her name! I cannot even get over the adorability of that. My possible future child is in grave danger of being blessed with an unfortunate name. Especially if it will be male.
[Considering that True Blood and Twilight are so essentially similar in many obvious ways, you may expect a great deal of extremely biased comparisons throughout the rest of this post. Just saying, is all]

Why True Blood Is Made Of Awesome

[ And Why Twilight Isn't, Although That Isn't What This Is Supposed To Be About. Not Officially. And I Refer To The Movie, By The Way. ]

1. Quotient Of Pretty
Obviously the glamorous young twenty-somethings of Twilight pack more of a punch in the nauseatingly model-esque, powder-slathered department of Pretty. Also, they sparkle in sunlight. But the folks of True Blood at least look like regular, approachable human beings (including the undead ones) and are gorgeous in all their imperfections, like Anna Paquin's wonky teeth. Also, unlike the much more chaste Twilight, the men of True Blood make it a habit to take their clothes off a lot. Like a lot. Like, some of them may even be allergic to synthetic fibre or something. And they all look good doing it. Taking off their clothes, I mean. Very few people look good being allergic to synthetic fibre.

2. Characters

The inevitable comparison comes up, naturally, between Edward Cullen and Vampire Bill. And I maintain that I quite like both, but Bill takes it to whole new level. Bill has the art of brooding in a broodish manner down to an art form, he actually speaks like he's from the 18th century, very Mr.Darcy and all, and he's a proper gentleman to boot. Plus he's all internally tortured and has a painful past and truckloads of Man Pain and Deep Issues roughly the size of Florida, and he deals with it all by playing Wii golf in the middle of the night and beauty-napping in the afternoons, and he doesn't do sissy pointless things like sparkle, or stalk his lady love or climb trees.
Also, Sookie The Telepathic Waitress could most definitely kick Bella Swan's spineless ass from here to like, Tijuana. Totally.
To add to the forbidden couple, you have Sookie's impulsive, sex-obsessed (and very hot) older brother Jason, who almost never appears with a shirt on, their lovely grandma, plus Sookie's shady boss, Sam, who also has the hots for her, plus Sookie's best friend Tara who has Deep Shit Issues of her own to deal with, and Tara's cousin Lafayette who has absolutely got to be the most fabulous character ever created on TV in the last....in the last very-long-time. Eyeliner, baby.

3. It has the baddest-ass theme song + opening credits ever.



Ever. In the history of ever. Maybe.

4. It's Cerebral

The connections with Twilight are almost too obvious at times, and we're not just discussing the vampire-human love here. But the thing with True Blood is that it at least tries to delve into other themes as well; addiction, politics, ethics, religion, prejudice and homosexuality just to name a few. And sometimes it doesn't work too great but I feel like giving it props just for the brave attempts. And occasionally it gets a bit Grey's Anatomy-ish, with people having hots for people but sleeping with other people and all. But it's a show with a brain which recognizes that its audience also possess grey cells at their disposal, and it gets as deep and dark and engaging as it possibly can, out of respect for us.

5. Tru Blood


Referring to the fake blood beverage developed by the Japanese, for the consumption of vegetarian vampires. And it has its own ad. How many TV shows have their own frakking product ad??

6. Also did I mention that everyone in this show is hot? Ey?