BAP's Hottest Men of Euro 08

So Euro 2008 has reached its end ( the final has yet to be played, but whatever-it's over), quite comfortably free of too much drama or controversy, everybody has been basically well-behaved, I can't remember the last time I saw a red card, there hasn't been a properly gruesome injury ( bummer), a brawl, a fistfight or even a slight bit of hair-pulling. Therefore I cannot do what I did for the 2006 World Cup, and draw up another outrageous awards show of sorts (which then included over 23 categories). But what I can do is what I'm best at.
Now, it is posts like this one I'm about to do that justify what boys (and some men) say about how females only watch football (or soccer, if you're that way inclined) to drool over athletic male specimens. But I say footballers aren't stupid. They know they can't wear little shorts and run around and not expect us to look, don't they? And I know exactly why my uncles crowd around the TV to watch Maria Sharapova play tennis for three hours. So knock it off with the bleeding double standards already.


BAP's Hottest Men of Euro 08

Some slim pickings this year, I must say. My standards have not been met. Because there is so little hotness to go around, I decided to post their baby pictures as well. Well, not baby pictures, but still. Back when they were itty bitty.

Iker Casillas ( Spain)

You can kinda see why they made him goalie, no?

I have always found goalkeepers sexy, for some reason. Perhaps it's because of the gloves. Spanish fans are quite enthralled with him. They call him God, The Messiah, and the Second Coming. He's good and all that, but that's kind of pushing it. And I don't really care, as long as he keeps looking hot while he's being the Messiah.
Or just a goalkeeper.


Christoph Metzelder (Germany)


He doesn't deserve to be this hot. Who does he think he is, being this hot? If I were that hot I'd probably internally combust and die. Of internal combustion. Although, currently he needs a shave. He looks like one of the disciples of Jesus, and that's nice, but totally not hot.

Biology is such a wonderful thing, no?


Arne Friedrich (Germany)


He is utter perfection, except for the disgusting habit he has of never taking his shirt off, a common failing of the German team. Ever. Not once. If he ever has, then I have never seen it. He should at least have the courtesy to show some bicep, or a wee peek at a six-pack. Doesn't he know I'm watching?

AWWW! Look at him. Just look at him! All decent and fully-dressed. At every stage in life.
Do not tell me he grew up to be this gorgeous just so he could wear clothes all the time.
The bastard.


All baby pictures courtesy of metric_march's incredibly awesome Footballers: When They Were Young series. Plenty more where the ones on this post came from.

If They Told You I'm Mad, Then They Lied

If they told you I'm mad, then they lied. I'm odd, but it isn't compulsive. I'm the triolet, bursting with pride; If they told you I'm mad, then they lied. No, it isn't obsessive. Now hide All the spoons or I might get convulsive. If they told you I'm mad then they lied. I'm odd, but it isn't compulsive. What Poetry Form Are You?

Klutz-illa and Baby Blues

This morning, I fell flat on my face in front of the entire school at morning assembly.

Well, not really. I didn't fall on my face, and only about 4% of the female population in school saw what happened at all. But I did scrape my knee like hell, and my elbow isn't looking too good either. It's quite literally bloody awful. So now I'm sitting here, with yellow disinfectant gloop slathered on my poor knee, pondering on my seeming inability to stand upright for more than 30 minutes at a time.
I detest being clumsy. Some people embrace their klutziness, they love it. They're adorably proud of themselves when they fall off a chair or knock something off a table or step into a drain. And people watch them and laugh affectionately. They can turn a painful and embarrassing situation into a charming and endearing personality quirk. I can't do that. Mainly because I have an ego that's only just a little larger than the size of the average male African elephant. I don't think it's cute when I miss a step and trip up the stairs, or when I walk into a wall ( it has happened, and in my defense, it was dark) or when I bang my head trying to get out of the car, or especially when I crash into furniture. In my own house.
In broad daylight.
Which happens quite frequently.
It hurts, not only my physical body, but also my exceedingly sensitive ego. I am the Ultimate Awesomeness. I should have exemplary levels of balance and coordination. This just isn't right. It messes with my cool mojo.


On a more positive note, I have finally watched The Last King of Scotland. And it wasn't just so I could look at James McAvoy.

Blue blue blue eyes. Dammit why do they have to be blue? Have you no mercy, God or Whoever You Are?

A proper review is in order once I have recovered the necessary brain function, and also once I have removed all the drool from my long-suffering keyboard.

The Modified Music Shuffle Meme

The Music Shuffle Meme
1. Put your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must put down the song name no matter what.


What song will play at my wedding, where I will be hitched to Jake Gyllenhaal (duh)?
Black Water Child by Fionn Regan
It's about dying and statues clinging like bitches to my eyes.
Perfect. Jake is going to love it!

My dengue fever theme song.
Meo Blodnasir ( I have nosebleed) by Sigur ros
You know, that is so appropriate. Some people actually do get nosebleed when they have dengue. What an intelligent mp3 player I have!

The England-Did-Not-Qualify-For-Euro 08-Song.
Titus Andronicus by Titus Andronicus
The album is called The Airing of Grievances, which is somewhat apt.

Will I ever finish reading Anna Karenina?
Pavlov's Daughter by Regina Spektor
The only connection here is that Anna, Regina and Pavlov and his daughter, too, are all Russian.

Should I get a haircut?
Disaster Strikes Again by Ferns
Ah. I'll take that as a no?

Should I dye my hair purple again?
I Want To Hold Your Hand by The Beatles
No, seriously. Answer the bloody question.

Will the Death Cab For Cutie gig ever get un-cancelled?
Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying by Belle and Sebastian
I suppose that speaks for itself, that.

How can I convince Sigur ros to ditch the stupid ass gig at Singapore's Esplanade and play in KL instead, or cancel their entire Asian tour?( if I can't see them, nobody in Asia is allowed to)
Winter by Joshua Radin
They're from Iceland, dammit, they're not going to run away scared when I threaten to lock them in a meat freezer or anything.

Should I start wearing contacts again?
What's A Girl To Do? by Bat For Lashes
You're not allowed to ask me questions. We've played this before, you should know what you're doing by now.

Will I ever meet Hannah in person by the end of the year?
I Love You, You Imbecile by Pelle Carlberg
I do, you know.

How's my yin-yang? I lost it, you know. I had my yin-yang stuck on my bag.
Set Fire To The Third Bar by Snow Patrol and Martha Wainwright
Aaaah. Mystical and cryptic. Just like the yin-yang. Only mine's sparkly.

Will I ever acquire my very own Scottish boyfriend (Irish is fine, too)?
Keep the Car Running by Arcade Fire
Oh I will. Until I get my very own Scotch to play with.
And Irish is fine too.

Will Grace finally finish reading my Hexwood?
Jenny Don't Be Hasty by Paolo Nutini
Well, that's nice, Jenny. But it would be nice if Grace didn't listen to Paolo.

What will it take to get me to eat fish again?
Hallelujah by Beirut
Divine intervention.

Should I get a chatbox on my blog?
One (u2 cover) by Johnny Cash
Just one, then, Mr Cash? If you say so.

If you choke and die halfway through lunch at a Vietnamese restaurant, does that allow you to come back and haunt the other diners of said restaurant, under the supernatural claim of "unfinished business"?
Leves Vos Skinny Fists Comme Antennas To Heaven by Godspeed You Black Emperor
Eh?


edit:

Additional questions courtesy of Bawanie. And me, of course.
Because we are awesome like that.

What do I think of Bawanie?
A-Punk by Vampire Weekend
No, you got that wrong, there. I do not think she is A-punk.

What is (will be?) the favourite song of the doctor who will deliver my baby, in about, say...15-odd years' time?
I Am A Lightning Rod by Margot & The Nuclear So and Sos
You know, that sounds so inappropriate for some reason.

What is the awesomest thing about me?
Ebbs and Flows by Royce
Worrrd.

What would my computer say to me if it could speak?
42 by Coldplay
HA! Douglas Adams lives!

If I wrote a book, what would it be called?
Karma Police by Radiohead
Something science-fictionney I believe. And Thom Yorke shall be the hero. Or villain.

What sort of World Ruler would I make?
This Charming Man by The Smiths
A male one? How sexist of you, mp3 player.

What will I say at my Nobel Prize acceptance speech? (I don't know why anybody would want to give me one. Probably just for being awesome, I suppose)
I'm A Cuckoo by Belle and Sebastian

What will they say about me in my eulogy?
J'aime vous voire quitter by Islands
Oh no. No no no no. What are the French saying about me? What are they saying, dammit?!

What's my superpower?
Telescope Eyes by Eisley
Uh. I do wear specs, though.

Who will win Euro 2008?
Turtle Island by Beach House
Oh you lousy stinking liar, you.

He Still Sounds Like He's Chewing Marbles

I have been busy getting educated for the last week. I'd say my proudest achievement,however, was non-academic. I spent my weekend drawing up little tags for all the Euro 08 teams in their national colours. Who knew I had all that artistry lying idle within my soul? If I had a bleeding camera phone, they'd all be up on this here blog for you to admire. But I don't. So they're not. And you can't.





I downloaded the new Sigur ros, and have been listening to it quite diligently. They sound- god forbid- happy. Not since Hoppipolla has there been such pure, unadulterated joy within the band, and the entire album is filled with the aforementioned happiness. It is overflowing with jaunty guitars, energetic tinkles, tribal drumming, handclaps, bouncy strings, joyful bursts of horns and trumpets, plus enough "oooh-ooohs" and "lalalalalas" and coos to last you till your funeral. And I want this album played at my funeral. Even the slower songs have a tinge of hope and optimism about them, instead of the usual air they have of the-world-is-ending-God-is-dead-the-Earth-burns-the-Trees-weep-we-shall-all-perish. This is probably due to the total lack of reverb, which is usually a speciality of the band. The heavy, distorted ambient sound is gorgeous and all that, but you can only have so much of cello-bowed-guitar and "oooh awwwhh ooowwwhhh" vocals. It makes the new LP both sound and feel much lighter, fresher and more organic. To add to the list of uncharacteristic deviations, only two of the songs are actually any longer than six minutes. And if you know Sigur ros, you know you'll be spectacularly lucky to get even a four-minute track. Regardless of how different it is to their previous efforts, it's still an excellent piece of music. They inch a little closer to more poppy vibes and radio-friendly track lengths (one blog describes it as what Death Cab For Cutie would sound like if they moved to Iceland and renounced the English language) , but I don't think I'll ever have to worry about them. Despite the bi-polarity of með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust, it still reeks of Sigur ros-ishness. Which is never a bad thing at all.
Now, when it comes to Coldplay..that's another story altogether.


The most fascinating thing about the new release is that it features the Ros performing in English for the very first time. Honestly, I can't tell the difference when Jonssi sings in Hopelandic/Icelandic or English. He still sounds like he's rolling extra large marbles around in his mouth and swallowing all his r's. It has sparked huge debate within the forums as to what he's actually singing. And to date the good people over at the message boards have come up with this ;


All Alright (work in progress)
I want him to know
what I have done
I want him to know
it's bad
I want him to know
what I have done
I want him to know
right now
It may be this time tomorrow
it may be today
it is now alright
now it's better
now we'll know
now he'll know
what I am feeling
I'm sitting with you sitting in silence
listening to bird-hymns,
like home
singing in tune,
together
a psalm for no one
listening to our birdlove
it's home
They're singing to my new love
they sing it for me
they're singing to my love

I just find it ironic that after all these years of unintelligible warbling in a language only four people on earth actually speak, it's one English song that gets people all riled up and killing their gray cells trying to find out what it really means. I say screw it and pretend it's in Vonlenska as well. It won't make much difference, and I'm sure the boys won't mind.

I have homework now.
You can stream the entire album here and here before it drops on June 23. The band have prepared a special widget for their adoring music buddies to play with until we can all get our hands on an actual copy. Because they're cool like that.

(What song/s would you like to be played at your funeral? It's a tad morbid, perhaps, but I find shit like that utterly fascinating)

BAP's Guide to Euro 2008

My personal thoughts on all 16 competing teams. At first I thought this would be too much bother, but this competition only rolls around for one measly month every four years, and it is widely considered to be much harder to win than the World Cup. So. Why not?


I warn you that the following may contain traces of horniness, biased opinion, pure ignorance, indifference and very little credible sports analysis.

We shall start with Austria and Switzerland. As co-hosts, these two countries receive automatic qualification.

Austria
The bigshots of Austrian football ( or soccer, whichever suits your fancy) actually requested , or maybe even begged, FIFA to allow them to withdraw from the competition, claiming that their playing standards were nowhere near what is needed for this kind of international gig. But they're here anyway.
Enough said.


Switzerland

They have the dubious honour of being the only national team in the history of the World Cup to have been knocked out at the group stages without having conceded a goal. That's like a compliment wrapped around a sucker punch. Likely to do only marginally better than their co-hosts, Austria.


Spain

The perennial underachievers. It's about time they won something, too. I mean, they have all the pretty players on their side. And they all play pretty football. It's like their own prettiness distracts them at some point, and that's when they start doing things like failing spectacularly and snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
But in all seriousness. It's about time. *cough*England*cough*


Czech Republic




I love this team, for various perverted reasons, as some people could testify to. But I do not want them to win this time around. They can go to the finals and everything, they're capable of it, but they mustn't win. Tomas Rosicky is injured and he's not playing. To win the Euros without him isn't exactly impossible, but I would consider it a travesty. Euro 2012 perhaps?




Holland

I never really liked this side. But their shirts are such a terrifically awesome shade of orange that it would be hard to say a word against them.

Germany

My default adopted-country team. I remember being in Standard Six, and being the only person in my entire class who wanted Germany to win the WC final against Brazil, and I even put down what was left of my lunch money on that result (yes, I gambled at age 12. It was only twenty cents anyway). Germany lost, I was to be the butt of future football-related jokes, but I came away from it all with an odd sense of Teutonic loyalty. And five years later, still a pseudo-German, despite stupid things some people say, like "Eeek you're supporting a Nazi team, how could you??". Gosh. Grow up. Half of the guys on that team are Polish anyway.
And let's not forget the German Under-17 team, who are blessed with insane gorgoeusness. I'd go after that bunch but somebody may convict me on a rape charge. So. Give them a couple of years and we'll have some proper eye-candy in the senior team as well.



Italy

They already won the bleeeding World Cup just last year! They don't need another trophy, the greedy little bitches.


France

They're boring. I'm sorry, they may be good, but they've always bored me senseless. If they win, or lose, or all die of food poisoning, or get swallowed up in an avalanche, or score 345 goals in 45 minutes, it simply would not interest me. They're that dull.


Croatia

The red and white check pattern makes me happy. Watching Croatia makes me happy. Their coach is awesome. He has his ear pirced. That makes me happy. If they won, I'd be happy too. Luka Modric looks like an elf crossed with a Hobbit crossed with a mouse . That makes me happy too.





Greece


The winners of the last tournament. I don't know much about them except that their names would make for some killer Spelling Bee tournos.


Romania





I can only think of vampires, for some reason. The thought of Romanians playing football under the sun is a little odd, but they qualified, which is a lot more than a lot of countries could say. *cough*England*cough*.



Russia

They just got flattened 4-1 by the Spaniards this morning, so it's not looking too good. Their names would make for killer Spelling Bees too.









Turkey

Call me an ass, but I was never really ever sure whether Turkey was officially part of Asia or Europe. My doubts have now been assuaged, obviously. There is also some Turk dude playing on the Swiss team. I wonder why he ran away?










Poland



The team that qualifies for everything but leaves without ever making an impact. I don't want to be mean, but the Poles look like they showed up just to make the numbers. Again.




Sweden

I like watching Sweden. They're boring as hell most of the time, but there's something enthralling about watching that many blond people running around together on a field. Capable but unlikely winners.


Portugal





Quite possibly the only team I actually dislike, no thanks to the presence of a certain Christiano Ronaldo. If I have to see his face on another magazine cover I shall projectile vomit all over it.




England



They--oh I'm sorry. They didn't qualify, did they? They have, arguably, the best players in the world, but the sheer weight of their collective and individual ego just drag them down all the time. Maybe after this team are all dead and gone, they can start thinking about trophies. It is very strange to watch a tournament like this without England in it, though.










BAP's Ultimate Prediction
England won't win this either.

edit ; My mistake, Italy won the World Cup two years ago, not last year.
They're still being greedy little bitches though.

With A Buzz In Our Ears, We Play Endlessly

This surely, must be the best musical month I've had in quite a while. Not only do I have the new Coldplay to look forward to, but Sigur ros are also releasing their fifth LP, a mere seven months after the last album, which simply reaffirms everything I ever said on this blog about their insane coolness.

Their new album art features nekked people running across a road, as does the music video for their first single. All this artistic nudity in the style of Film School Grads Gone Wild, I believe, has pretty much sealed Sigur ros' fate with the Malaysian censorship board.

No, I don't really get paid to talk about them all the time, but considering the number of new fans I've made them in this country, I think I deserve an award, at the very least. Some sort of recognition, free concert tickets, my own vacation house in Iceland, with a golden retriever and a washing line made up of old broken guitar strings, and surrounded by dead trees. I demand appreciation, dammit!! Or do I have to repeat myself in Icelandic? Or Vonlenska, if they understand that better?
But I digress.
I have to start saving up now. I'm not too worried about purchasing Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends. My parents also being avid Coldplayers, it's far more likely that they'll buy that album way before I can even finish saying "a rush of blood to the head". And they'll hog it all to themselves and not let me put songs on repeat and then I'll have to wait until one of them goes to work so I can steal it and listen to it on my own. Thank goodness there isn't a CD player in the car anymore, or I'll never get my hands on it.
But I digress.
Again.
I'l have to start saving up to buy the impossibly-titled Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust ( I dare that kid who won the spelling bee thingamajibby in the US to spell that. I dare him.) especially since this time around it features Jonssi singing in Ye Olde English, and also a 90 piece orchestra plus an entire boy's choir, which is the most extravagant thing the guys have ever done. Or maybe I'll pay somebody to go find it. The bare backsides on the cover worry me. The government may not even let the CDs get anywhere near this here country.

But after the whole Arctic Monkeys debacle ( and I'm quite certain it's a bleeding scam), these two albums, released within two weeks of each other, from two of my most beloved bands in the entire existence of the universe, should be very wonderful consolation.
Now all that remains is for either one band to play a gig in KL, and I can die happy.

Hate Is A Strong Word.

Bawanie has been pretty stoked about this particular post for quite a while now, since she was the one who came up with the idea, and I haven't exactly been breaking my neck trying to get it done. Things like this take time and consideration. I mean, picking 10 girls/women in all of Fictiondom that you hate enough to want to strangle? That's serious business, people.


10 Fictional Female Characters I Would Very Much Like To Strangle

Jane Eyre (from the novel Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte)
Yes, I realize that she is an icon of classic literature, and that I'm probably stupid or delusional. Or both. There's plenty of evidence to support it. But Jane Eyre, from the third chapter onwards, was always going to join the ranks of Strong Independent Women I Despise. She was always so righteous, so patient, so confident of getting her own way, so annoying in her self-assuredness and so utterly stupid for falling in love with that idiotic, irresponsible, apathetic Mr Rochester. She was bland, dull and virtually emotionless. Nothing about her struck me as being fascinating, or interesting or the least bit likable. The minute I was done reading her pointless story, I tucked The Complete Works of Charlotte and Emily Bronte right at the back of my shelf and vowed never to take it out again, unless I wanted to reread Wuthering Heights.


Meredith Grey (from TV's Grey's Anatomy)
The one Annmarie fondly refers to as "The Sleepy-Eyed Whore". It is possible that if any actress other than the wooden and annoying Ellen Pompeo were to play this character, that I may even have considered liking her. Anybody who can be that screwed up either deserves sympathy or derision, and Meredith really is too pathetic to merit much of either. Mummy issues, Daddy issues, Boyfriend issues, I-Failed-My-Intern-Exam issues, I-Slept-With-My-Best-Friend issues, and the show doesn't seem to be slowing down much in any of those departments. She's not a bad person exactly, but I don't hate bad people. I hate annoying ones. And unless the writers do something drastic, like re-cast the character or kill her off, preferably, then Meredith Grey remains exceedingly worthy of strangulation.







Molly Weasley (from the Harry Potter novels by J.K Rowling)
It would be hard for me to point out exactly what riles me up so badly when it comes to this woman. Is it her uber-maternal instincts? Her nagging? Her constant poking her nose into everything her dozen-or-so children do everyday? I'm usually quite tolerant of maternal tendencies. The nagging and lecturing really don't bother me as much as I assume it should, for an adolescent. This also extends to other people's moms' maternal tendencies. But when it comes to Molly Weasley, something or other just touches a nerve with me. I'm not quite fond of the other Weasley woman either; Ginny, the youngest. Molly is often hugely biased, impulsively judgmental, rashly jealous, hot-tempered and just a tad shallow. I could say the exact same thing about any one of her sons, but I adore them all. Those traits the boys have inherited, to varying degrees, seem amplified and more concentrated in their mother, thus making Molly Weasley one of the few fictional females worthy of a spot on this here list.


Dr. Allison Cameron (from TV's House m.d)

Yet another pious, hypocritical, righteous, morally conscious prat who is also just dying to get into House's pants. She is constantly judging everyone else's actions and motives while remaining quite blissfully unaware of her own faults and foibles, and blind to her own moments of human impulse. I hope she gets a rare disease that even House can't diagnose and dies an incredibly painful and tormented death. And after that she can go to hell.


Katherine Carr (from the novels What Katy Did and What Katy Did Next by Susan Coolidge)
Katy started off as an extremely lovable twelve year-old. She was lanky and awkward and uncomfortable with her body, but she was a hell lotta fun, with her imagination, her made-up stories and games, her methods of lording it over her younger siblings, her habit of getting into huge trouble and the joy she took in defying what the society in those days believed a proper young lady should be like. And then she broke her back and got herself bedridden, and her stupid invalid Cousin Helen came along, and trained her in useless things, like how to be sweet and kind and patient and say your prayers every day. And by the end of the book, Katy was unrecognisable. It was a travesty. She had turned into the very thing she spent her childhood trying to defy and scoff at; society's idea of a proper young woman. Even the way she spoke was different. Instead of the half-cocky I'm-The-Big-Sister dialogue, she now used things like proper grammar (the horror!) and a soft,gentle tone of voice. It nearly drove me mad. I don't want to strangle Katy because I hate her. I still love her, in spite of myself. I am simply hoping that depriving her brain of oxygen for a little while can turn her back into the old, pre-accident Katy.


Simone Deveaux (from TV's Heroes)
I believe I have ranted about her quite considerably in the past. Even though she has already been shot dead by her boyfriend (or one of her boyfriends, at the time) I still hate her enough to want to kill her a second time. Enuff said.












Anna Karenina (from the novel Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy)
Why the heck did she have to go have a shitty affair and make Tolstoy here write over 900 pages of classic Literature?? For being the title character in the only book to have defeated me thus far (I've been reading it since 2006, on and off, too afraid to get stuck right in), welcome to the suck, Anna.


Susan Pevensie (from the Narnia movies)

Perhaps it's the way she often speaks like an annoyed mother. Perhaps it's that ridiculous pouty face she makes when shooting her bow and arrow. Perhaps it's the way she does almost nothing wrong. Perhaps it's her dull blandness. And perhaps it has something to do with the fact that actress Anna Popplewell is gorgeous and she got to kiss Ben Barnes, possibly more than once. The fact is that Susan is a cyborg and her wooden perfection annoyed me to no end in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, and this year's Prince Caspian was not much better. I'd strangle her, but I fear she may stick an arrow in me before I get anywhere within 200 yards of the girl.


Ginny Weasley (from JK Rowling's Harry Potter novels)
It happened too fast, with no warning. Out of the blue she and Harry are in love with each other? And not just that; in love, as in, what, soulmates? Bloody hell. No, I'm not jealous. I couldn't care less who Harry chose to have babies with. But she is a Weasley woman. Not my favourite breed. And she may be essentially cooler and a lot more agreeable than her mother, but Ginny annoyed me far more often than it would be wise to. Her wisecracks and Fred/George wannabe pranks were never funny, for one thing. There was no time, by the sixth book, for anybody to really even contemplate any emotional connection between Harry and Ginny. I think most of us had already forgotten all about Ginny's preteen crush on the Potter. She was simply Ron's kid sister. A little spunky and feisty, perhaps, but that was all. And here's another thing; when feisty, spunky women outdo their own spunkiness and feistiness, they annoy the crap out of me.
And out of the stinky quagmires of teenage love, JK simply threw this sudden, abrupt relationship in our faces and expected us to get used to it by the time the grand finale rolled around. Not good, Jo. Not good.


Liz Parker (from TV's Roswell and the Roswell High novels)
It's been a long long time since I last watched or read any Roswell. But I distinctly remember Liz Parker being rather annoying, very much in the style of Susan Pevensie crossed with a little bit of Meredith Grey. I never liked her or felt any compulsion to root for her. Besides, I was always more of a Maria DeLuca girl. You know, because at least she was funny. And she had the hotter boyfriend. By a country mile.








Well there you have it. I don't think it's quite my best, but it will have to do for now, anyway. Coming up, sooner or later, also specially requested by Bawanie ; 10 Male Fictional Characters I'd Like To Defenestrate.