Some thoughts on the World Cup, now that we're a few days into the whole shindig.
1. Those South African plastic horns (vuvuzelas, they're called) are insanely annoying. I don't care if they're some sort of cultural institution over there, I hate them. They drown out all the sounds I'm used to hearing when watching a football match ; the referee's whistles, players yelling at each other, coaches swearing, and above all the natural sounds of the people in the stadium. You don't get to hear cheering or booing or hissing or singing, just some supremely grating noiseshit made by people blowing on gaudy plastic pipes. And I sincerely hope I will not have to keep watching the rest of the tournament with all the games on mute, because that would just be sad. DIE, VUVUZELA HORNS. DIE.
2. Say what you will about the spirit of sportsmanship, integrity and courage of the athletes at the World Cup. My favourite bits will always be the parts when full grown muscle men of badassery get tapped on the ankle by an opponent and roll around on the ground like they've been shot. Footballers are the ultimate drama queens of our age, and how I love them all for it.
I also cannot wait for the elimination rounds when penalty shoot-outs figure into the equation. Dudes are going to be bawling their eyes out and I am going to be there to gloat. In a sympathetic way, of course.
Also, this World Cup requires more violence. I need to see a brawl or two before all this is over.
1. Those South African plastic horns (vuvuzelas, they're called) are insanely annoying. I don't care if they're some sort of cultural institution over there, I hate them. They drown out all the sounds I'm used to hearing when watching a football match ; the referee's whistles, players yelling at each other, coaches swearing, and above all the natural sounds of the people in the stadium. You don't get to hear cheering or booing or hissing or singing, just some supremely grating noiseshit made by people blowing on gaudy plastic pipes. And I sincerely hope I will not have to keep watching the rest of the tournament with all the games on mute, because that would just be sad. DIE, VUVUZELA HORNS. DIE.
2. Say what you will about the spirit of sportsmanship, integrity and courage of the athletes at the World Cup. My favourite bits will always be the parts when full grown muscle men of badassery get tapped on the ankle by an opponent and roll around on the ground like they've been shot. Footballers are the ultimate drama queens of our age, and how I love them all for it.
I also cannot wait for the elimination rounds when penalty shoot-outs figure into the equation. Dudes are going to be bawling their eyes out and I am going to be there to gloat. In a sympathetic way, of course.
Also, this World Cup requires more violence. I need to see a brawl or two before all this is over.
3. My sometimes-husband in football, Roque Santa Cruz, will be taking the field tonight for Paraguay, against the Italians. Now Paraguay are sort of crap and probably won't win a thing and I can't name you any other players from their first team without having to Google it first. All I know is that it has been far far too long since the last time I sat in front of the TV and squealed "Rock-ayyy!" every time Mr. Santa Cruz appeared onscreen.
Run like the wind tonight, my Pretty. Like the wind.
4. This shindig needs more Scandinavians. Preferably of the Swedish inclination. The lack of blond hair and blue eyes is seriously taking a toll on my very sensitive psyche.
5. On a non-superficial note, I hope Korea and Japan continue to kick ass and be awesome, because Asians need to back up Asians, yo. Even if some Asians aren't as brown as other Asians.
5. On a non-superficial note, I hope Korea and Japan continue to kick ass and be awesome, because Asians need to back up Asians, yo. Even if some Asians aren't as brown as other Asians.
