Hate Is A Strong Word.

Bawanie has been pretty stoked about this particular post for quite a while now, since she was the one who came up with the idea, and I haven't exactly been breaking my neck trying to get it done. Things like this take time and consideration. I mean, picking 10 girls/women in all of Fictiondom that you hate enough to want to strangle? That's serious business, people.


10 Fictional Female Characters I Would Very Much Like To Strangle

Jane Eyre (from the novel Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte)
Yes, I realize that she is an icon of classic literature, and that I'm probably stupid or delusional. Or both. There's plenty of evidence to support it. But Jane Eyre, from the third chapter onwards, was always going to join the ranks of Strong Independent Women I Despise. She was always so righteous, so patient, so confident of getting her own way, so annoying in her self-assuredness and so utterly stupid for falling in love with that idiotic, irresponsible, apathetic Mr Rochester. She was bland, dull and virtually emotionless. Nothing about her struck me as being fascinating, or interesting or the least bit likable. The minute I was done reading her pointless story, I tucked The Complete Works of Charlotte and Emily Bronte right at the back of my shelf and vowed never to take it out again, unless I wanted to reread Wuthering Heights.


Meredith Grey (from TV's Grey's Anatomy)
The one Annmarie fondly refers to as "The Sleepy-Eyed Whore". It is possible that if any actress other than the wooden and annoying Ellen Pompeo were to play this character, that I may even have considered liking her. Anybody who can be that screwed up either deserves sympathy or derision, and Meredith really is too pathetic to merit much of either. Mummy issues, Daddy issues, Boyfriend issues, I-Failed-My-Intern-Exam issues, I-Slept-With-My-Best-Friend issues, and the show doesn't seem to be slowing down much in any of those departments. She's not a bad person exactly, but I don't hate bad people. I hate annoying ones. And unless the writers do something drastic, like re-cast the character or kill her off, preferably, then Meredith Grey remains exceedingly worthy of strangulation.







Molly Weasley (from the Harry Potter novels by J.K Rowling)
It would be hard for me to point out exactly what riles me up so badly when it comes to this woman. Is it her uber-maternal instincts? Her nagging? Her constant poking her nose into everything her dozen-or-so children do everyday? I'm usually quite tolerant of maternal tendencies. The nagging and lecturing really don't bother me as much as I assume it should, for an adolescent. This also extends to other people's moms' maternal tendencies. But when it comes to Molly Weasley, something or other just touches a nerve with me. I'm not quite fond of the other Weasley woman either; Ginny, the youngest. Molly is often hugely biased, impulsively judgmental, rashly jealous, hot-tempered and just a tad shallow. I could say the exact same thing about any one of her sons, but I adore them all. Those traits the boys have inherited, to varying degrees, seem amplified and more concentrated in their mother, thus making Molly Weasley one of the few fictional females worthy of a spot on this here list.


Dr. Allison Cameron (from TV's House m.d)

Yet another pious, hypocritical, righteous, morally conscious prat who is also just dying to get into House's pants. She is constantly judging everyone else's actions and motives while remaining quite blissfully unaware of her own faults and foibles, and blind to her own moments of human impulse. I hope she gets a rare disease that even House can't diagnose and dies an incredibly painful and tormented death. And after that she can go to hell.


Katherine Carr (from the novels What Katy Did and What Katy Did Next by Susan Coolidge)
Katy started off as an extremely lovable twelve year-old. She was lanky and awkward and uncomfortable with her body, but she was a hell lotta fun, with her imagination, her made-up stories and games, her methods of lording it over her younger siblings, her habit of getting into huge trouble and the joy she took in defying what the society in those days believed a proper young lady should be like. And then she broke her back and got herself bedridden, and her stupid invalid Cousin Helen came along, and trained her in useless things, like how to be sweet and kind and patient and say your prayers every day. And by the end of the book, Katy was unrecognisable. It was a travesty. She had turned into the very thing she spent her childhood trying to defy and scoff at; society's idea of a proper young woman. Even the way she spoke was different. Instead of the half-cocky I'm-The-Big-Sister dialogue, she now used things like proper grammar (the horror!) and a soft,gentle tone of voice. It nearly drove me mad. I don't want to strangle Katy because I hate her. I still love her, in spite of myself. I am simply hoping that depriving her brain of oxygen for a little while can turn her back into the old, pre-accident Katy.


Simone Deveaux (from TV's Heroes)
I believe I have ranted about her quite considerably in the past. Even though she has already been shot dead by her boyfriend (or one of her boyfriends, at the time) I still hate her enough to want to kill her a second time. Enuff said.












Anna Karenina (from the novel Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy)
Why the heck did she have to go have a shitty affair and make Tolstoy here write over 900 pages of classic Literature?? For being the title character in the only book to have defeated me thus far (I've been reading it since 2006, on and off, too afraid to get stuck right in), welcome to the suck, Anna.


Susan Pevensie (from the Narnia movies)

Perhaps it's the way she often speaks like an annoyed mother. Perhaps it's that ridiculous pouty face she makes when shooting her bow and arrow. Perhaps it's the way she does almost nothing wrong. Perhaps it's her dull blandness. And perhaps it has something to do with the fact that actress Anna Popplewell is gorgeous and she got to kiss Ben Barnes, possibly more than once. The fact is that Susan is a cyborg and her wooden perfection annoyed me to no end in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, and this year's Prince Caspian was not much better. I'd strangle her, but I fear she may stick an arrow in me before I get anywhere within 200 yards of the girl.


Ginny Weasley (from JK Rowling's Harry Potter novels)
It happened too fast, with no warning. Out of the blue she and Harry are in love with each other? And not just that; in love, as in, what, soulmates? Bloody hell. No, I'm not jealous. I couldn't care less who Harry chose to have babies with. But she is a Weasley woman. Not my favourite breed. And she may be essentially cooler and a lot more agreeable than her mother, but Ginny annoyed me far more often than it would be wise to. Her wisecracks and Fred/George wannabe pranks were never funny, for one thing. There was no time, by the sixth book, for anybody to really even contemplate any emotional connection between Harry and Ginny. I think most of us had already forgotten all about Ginny's preteen crush on the Potter. She was simply Ron's kid sister. A little spunky and feisty, perhaps, but that was all. And here's another thing; when feisty, spunky women outdo their own spunkiness and feistiness, they annoy the crap out of me.
And out of the stinky quagmires of teenage love, JK simply threw this sudden, abrupt relationship in our faces and expected us to get used to it by the time the grand finale rolled around. Not good, Jo. Not good.


Liz Parker (from TV's Roswell and the Roswell High novels)
It's been a long long time since I last watched or read any Roswell. But I distinctly remember Liz Parker being rather annoying, very much in the style of Susan Pevensie crossed with a little bit of Meredith Grey. I never liked her or felt any compulsion to root for her. Besides, I was always more of a Maria DeLuca girl. You know, because at least she was funny. And she had the hotter boyfriend. By a country mile.








Well there you have it. I don't think it's quite my best, but it will have to do for now, anyway. Coming up, sooner or later, also specially requested by Bawanie ; 10 Male Fictional Characters I'd Like To Defenestrate.