Insert Pithy Post Title Here

I will not make excuses for the almost month-long gap between this and the last post I put up, nor apologize for my failure to keep up with promises to blog regularly, because I will never change and we will all have to live with that, and I have only the greatest and most sincere affection and gratitude to the people who keep coming back here. Internet group hug for you all!

I actually wrote out several long-ass drafts for posts on different topics before running out of ideas and giving up out of sheer frustration - nothing seemed to work out the way I wanted it to. I couldn't even think of a title for this post. So while I get my shit together and rediscover the blogging mojo, here are some (mostly Batman related) things that have made me a very happy girl recently.

This masterclass cosplayer became a fully-fledged Tumblr sensation after appearing at this year's Comic Con in a ridiculously spectacular Joker costume. This is seriously beyond boss.



And because the Universe is twisted and cruel and never lets me have all the nice things, this is what professional Awesome Human Being Anthony Misiano looks like under all that makeup and fabulous bad guy swag.



O the endless sexual frustration.

Which leads me nicely into the next thing I want to talk about - The Dark Knight Rises. With a lot of pop culture street cred to uphold, I watched the movie twice in two days, and enjoyed myself thoroughly both times. The film is far from perfect - there are many flaws which I only allowed myself to acknowledge after the initial rush of OMG OMG BATMAN had subsided. But a solid cinematic experience nonetheless. I'm not going to do a proper review because other people have already done so, and far more eloquently than I could ever manage.

I will say that as far as Tom Hardy goes, I have officially left the I-Sort-Of-Vaguely-Respect-Him-As-An-Actor territory and gone into Holy-Shit-Incoherent-Babbling levels of adoration. His Bane, who could have otherwise been a fairly generic and one-note bad guy, was horrifyingly sexy, deliciously menacing, and utterly compelling and magnetic (I personally take no issue with his voice, by the way). The guy is a ridiculously underrated and incredibly intelligent actor, and he needs to be in more things, okay? Things in which we are allowed to see his entire face. Okay.


I understand that Bane's character pretty much requires him to walk around wearing a mask, but hear this Hollywood ; never again shall you take it upon yourselves to deprive us of the utter lusciousness that is Tom Hardy's face. Never again.



Just a thought, but do any of you guys find it impossible to call Joseph Gordon-Levitt anything other than his full name? I can't seem to ever refer to him, in speech or writing/type, as Joseph. Or even Gordon-Levitt. Joe is completely out of the question. JGL is an option now and then, but it feels wrong when used too much. If I were his friend I'd have his mobile number listed in my phone as 'Joseph Gordon-Levitt'. I'd be like "Hey Joseph Gordon-Levitt, wanna grab lunch tomorrow or something, Joseph Gordon-Levitt?". I wonder if even his mom is capable of calling him anything else. "No TV until you finish your homework Joseph Gordon-Levitt".
Anyway here is a video of Joseph Gordon-Levitt singing a Beatles song and being irresistibly adorable, just because he can. You go, Joseph Gordon-Levitt.



In other news, Cillian Murphy is still prettier than you. His cameo in The Dark Knight Rises was essentially perfection, just like his face. 

He's Some Guy She Met At The Gym With Brad Pitt's Face And Jesus' Abs

There are impulse purchases, and then there are impulse purchases. The kind where you go off to the nearest mall with whatever little is left in your savings account (until the next cheque clears), and your mother has just told you do something mature and responsible with that money, like buy some new slacks and sensible shoes for university, only the minute you walk in Joseph Gordon-Levitt immediately grabs your attention from the top of the DVD rack, all clean-shaven and hot and looking down at his own t-shirt and sort of smirking at all the Zooey Deschanels on it ( like so) and you're all I NEED THIS OBJECT IN MY LIFE and the next thing you know you're standing in line with a bunch of grumpy strangers and their Monday morning groceries, waiting to fork out nearly 60 bucks for a godforsaken movie you probably won't enjoy and could have downloaded for free in about an hour from the comfort of your own computer (probably like everyone else you know who has already seen it) and thinking "Uh oops so no new sensible shoes today then" and after that you buy some iced lemon tea and make the arduous 40-minute walk home with nothing but an umbrella and the soothing balm of impulse-driven retail therapy to ease your suffering.

And you know what? This movie made all of the above pretty much worth while.

Sure, some of the indie-esque quirkiness felt a bit forced but that may be simply because I was having a headache and my parents were sitting around looking bored and I had to skip a lot of the make-out scenes to minimize awkwardness for both parties.

(500) Days Of Summer starts off by telling you what has already happened - sensitive imaginative Tom meets cynical emotionally-stunted Summer. Tom falls in love, Summer sort-of-maybe-doesn't-really but decides to go along for the ride anyway. It's a recipe for an unhappy ending, and it faithfully ends in the disaster it was always meant to be. The conventional structure of the modern romantic comedy is gleefully defenestrated as the rest of the film embarks on a non-chronological journey through the ups and downs of the 500 days of their relationship from Tom's perspective, working all the way up to the post-Summer days where he struggles to put his life back together and get his ass out of bed and bathrobes. It's a fresh, funny and infinitely clever way of telling a story that should have probably been told a million times before if not for the fact that no one ever really wants to hear it.

(500) Days Of Summer also boasts the following ;

1. A terrific soundtrack, including the likes of Regina Spektor, Doves, The Temper Trap and The Smiths.
2. Roughly 30 seconds of an almost-thesis on Belle & Sebastian as well as oodles of Ringo Starr love.
3. A Hall & Oates-fulled dance sequence of post-coital bliss with marching band, smiling strangers in blue and a random animated bird, which will make you all giddy with silly happiness and if it doesn't make you giddy with silly happiness then no big deal, it just means that you are DEAD ON THE INSIDE.
4. Zooey Deschanel.
5. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, his everyman charm, his wonderful range of emotions, his dancing chops, his drunken karaoke, and his fabulous chemistry with Zooey.
6. Conversation that is sharp and smart and pithy and full of pop culture references but also entirely believable and not written for the sake of being quirky and quotable.
7. Zooey Deschanel.
8. A truly remarkable bit where Tom's Expectations and the Reality of his situation are portrayed in split-screen, revealing the very painful real-life outcome of his fantasy of passionately reconciling with Summer.
9. Zooey Deschanel.
10. The power to make you want to have BOTH Zooey Deschanel's and Joseph Gordon-Levitt's babies.




Yes. BOTH THEIR BABIES. And don't even throw words like "biologically" and "anatomically" and "impossible" at me because I will coldly ignore them.