The Chronicles Of FanGirl-ing. Or Why We Only Watched It Because Ben Is On The Poster.

Well, it's true. I had such an awful time watching the first Narnia film (which I still consider to be the worst RM12 I ever spent) that there was no way I was about to part with my parents' hard-earned cash for a less-than-worthy reason. And well, the poster came along.
And I remember thinking, hey, that prince dude is pretty easy on the eye. I don't think it will be all that necessary to drag me kicking and screaming up the escalators in Jusco.


The second instalment of C.S Lewis' classic Narnia series, featuring a young prince of Telmarine who must join forces with the Narnians to reclaim his throne and bring peace between the two lands. This prince also happens to be exceptionally hot.

It's a huge improvement from the first. It is darker, more human, more complicated and a lot less of a naive-fairytale-"Look ma, it's magic!"-or "Check it out, the beavers can talk!" happy-schmappy romp. The characters and their backgrounds have already been established pretty well, and to my special approval, the movie did not spend much time explaining everything that was carried over from the first movie. So it does require you to utilise at least a couple of your brain cells. In terms of character development, I was just a tad disappointed. Peter and his internal struggles simply came across as a little snotty and egoistic at the beginning, Susan was as bland and pouty as ever, Lucy was her usual sugary-sweet self, and even Prince Caspian was initially portrayed as being rather whiny and wimpy. Only Edmund stayed true to his awesome bad-assness. The romantic element between Susan and Caspian was a little forced and didn't seem all that necessary. In any case, it's Narnia. How horny can you get without compromising your rating? I bet Anna Popplewell was dead pleased that she got to kiss Caspian ( Ben Barnes) at the end anyway. Although I didn't understand why she was so nonchalant when she was told she could never return to Narnia again. If it were me I'd have hooked my arms around that damned Prince's calves and absolutely refused to be dragged away from His Gorgeousness. I'd have wanted to stay in Narnia and make Caspian babies, for Pete's sake!
The war scenes, which have improved in leaps and bounds since The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, somewhat paled in comparison to the Lord Of The Rings. And I realise how stupid it is to compare, but it's impossible not to. Narnia, whether it means to come across that way or not, is simply an LOTR wannabe. The battle scenes, the magical creatures, the weapons and characters, all look utterly lame when compared against the sheer scale, size and awesome kick-assness that is the LOTR trilogy. It was almost annoying. But I must admit that the sight of a very sexifying Ben Barnes on horseback, carrying a flaming torch, did manage to placate me somewhat. In any case, the fight sequences definitely had a lot more flow, heart, seamlessness and more of an adrenaline punch than the first movie.

In a nutshell, The Chronicles of Narnia:Prince Caspian, is very good in terms of entertainment value, and would definitely rate as an excellent summer blockbuster (even though it's always summer round these parts). Your best deal, if you suffer from This-Shit-Ain't-LOTR syndrome, is to walk into that cinema with your expectations as low as you can possibly get them, and banish all thoughts of Frodo, rings, and Pelennor fields from your mind. I went in there fully prepared to detest it, actually. And also very much looking forward to the Prince dude, who, thankfully, by the middle, became more of a prince and less of a cowardly, opportunistic refugee.

And yeah, all you have to do, I suppose, is appreciate it for what it is instead of what it's trying to be.

Besides, I have never read a page of the books, so what you're getting is the point of view of somebody who is judging the movie solely by its film-making merits. And they get a few extra points for that gorgeous piece of celluloid eye-candy.
And if the casting people over at Walden Media picked Ben Barnes as their Caspian purely in the knowledge that it would get hormonally charged teenage girls such as myself (and Grace) all dizzy and fluttery for a few hours, well. It worked, didn't it? We even had to go back to Grace's place and get ourselves a Barnes-Youtube fix on the laptop for a couple of hours. Yeah, we're shallow. But we enjoy every minute of it.


A little horny-ness never killed anybody, you know?

Pick A Fandom, Any Fandom #2

For this one, I will be basing my answers 100% within the context of the books. I will, however, use images from the movies.
The first instalment may be viewed here.

1. The first character I fell in love with.

Neville Longbottom. This is a bit of a no-brainer. You'd have to have a heart of lead and a soul of asbestos not to have found this boy almost unbearably endearing from the very minute he stepped into Harry and Ron's train compartment in The Philosopher's Stone. He's intensely lonely, painfully clumsy, glaringly incompetent and very much a disaster-on-legs. And when in later books, his true worth, talent and character were slowly revealed;his considerable courage, sensitivity, and his willingness to do pretty much anything for a friend, and Neville proved to be an incredible asset to Harry's efforts (not to mention how close he actually came to being Harry Potter), taking into consideration the shocking and tragic circumstances of his past, it was all I could do not to burst into tears of joy for the little boy who made his entrance into the series as the nerdy and nervous first-year looking for his pet toad on a train, the one kid that nobody ever gave a second thought about, the one the world assumed would never amount to anything. You rawk, my man.


2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now.


This honour, I believe, must go without contest to Severus Snape. I initially believed that he was simply a plot device, the stereotypical bad guy, the one-dimensional villain-with-a-grudge. He turned out to be the most layered, complex, tragic and fascinating characters J.K Rowling has ever created. Even when her writing and general plot outlines sucked to high heaven, Snape was the one thing that never disappointed. Far from being the menacing dark figure in the shadows, he turned out to be a tragic lovelorn hero, a triple-faced-double-agent, a tortured and flawed man. His actions and motives were never black and white, they were constantly bathed in shades of gray. No-scratch that; they were constantly bathed in the shades of the shades of gray.
His every word, move and expression were an enigma. You were shocked by his outright bitterness, his capacity for cold cruelty, yet you sensed within him an ache, some sort of inner pain. And perhaps best of all, in true Snape fashion, you never knew which side he was on until the very last moments. For that, I take my hat off to J.K Rowling. She has created perhaps one of the most splendid characters in contemporary fiction. Also kudos to Mr Alan Rickman, who portrays him in the movies. Perfection in every way.
And admit it. Snape's kinda hot.
In a really weird, perverted way.


3. The character everyone else loves that I don't.


This may or may not come as a shock, but I am personally not a big fan of Harry Potter. How can this be? you ask. After all, isn't the entire series told from the bespectacled point of view of every body's favourite jean-clad, sneaker-donning boy wizard? Well, yes. But it doesn't mean I have to like him.
Put it this way; I'm tolerant enough to read all seven books told from his POV, but if Rowling had decided to kill him off in the most brutal fashion she could think of, I wouldn't really be too bothered. He just isn't memorable in any way. There is nothing defining about him, nothing endearing, nothing I'd remember him for. For example, given a certain situation, I could pretty accurately tell you the exact reactions of characters like Ron, Hermione or even Snape, with dialogue, even. But my mind would draw a blank when it comes to Harry. When I'm not reading about him, he becomes a complete nonentity to me. And you may think this is a little sad, but even the fact that I cannot connect with him does not ruffle me in the least. He simply has no impact on me. And that's the way it is.


4. The character I love that everyone else hates.

Yes, our juvenile bully, the spoilt stinking brat, the pale blondie, the almost-murderer, Draco Malfoy. I always thought he was pretty fun to have around. He was the only one apart from Snape who could rile Harry up enough to get him properly mad. I started wishing he'd gain more depth as the series moved closer to its conclusion, and I got my wish in Half-Blood Prince. Suddenly he was no longer strutting down hallways and proclaiming the glory of his father's riches, no longer making up snotty names to call people, no longer giving a damn about what that Potter kid was up to. Now he worked alone, he was afraid, he was having emotional breakdowns, he was facing a matter of life and death, he had something to prove, and with every chapter he became closer and closer to becoming a murderer at age 16. It was fantastic.
And Tom Felton, who plays Draco in the movies, really doesn't do much harm to the eyeballs either.


5. The character I would shag anytime.

A young Tom Riddle Jr, say around the ages of 16 to 23? Yes. He was a lonely, confused and somewhat insane little-boy-lost and he needed me.


What? Gosh! No, it has nothing to do with Cillian Murphy! Where'd you get that idea? Seriously.

6. The character I'd want to be like.

Luna Lovegood. She lives completely in her own world, and is utterly unconcerned about what anybody else may or not think of her. She says what she wants, does what she wants, believes in what she wants, goes where she wants, reads what she wants. If she feels like wearing onion earrings and having one eyebrow coloured yellow, then by golly, that's what she'll do. Basically, she is simply unashamed to be herself and totally unapologetic about it. That is just so insanely awesome. And turnip necklaces are sooo fashion forward, don't you think?


7. The character I'd slap.

Molly Weasley. I didn't even have to think about this one. Excuse me if I don't elaborate enough on this, but talking about her is just going to get me all riled up. So. Moving on!


8. A pairing that I love.


Fred and George Weasley. These two stand as a testament to how spectacular J.K Rowling's sense of humour can be when she's really working it. Comic relief of the highest order, providing bushels of quotable quotes to carry around with you wherever you go! ("We tried to shut him in a pyramid, but mum spotted us"). Not to mention all sorts of strange concoctions, the likes of Ton-Tongue Toffee, Nosebleed Nougat, You-Know-Poo and Canary Creams. Fred may have been brutally killed off by the unforgiving Rowling, and poor George must now live on without the other half of his soul, but the laughs they have provided us with over these last ten years or so will echo in our hearts forever.


9. A pairing that I despise.

Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley. This just does not make sense. Right, so Ginny had a mad crush on Harry for the best part of her early teenage life. Why? Because he's freaking Harry Potter, isn't he? And for no other obvious reason. And all this time, Harry found her infatuation with him rather uncomfortable, but mainly as something he thought she'd eventually grow out of. And she apparently did. And we thought so too. Then Ginny turns into a wisecracking red-headed vixen, dating anything with the label "Boy" on it. Then Hermione comes up with some crap about how Ginny never stopped loving Harry, and merely turned to other men to take her mind off him and fill that void in her soul. What the hell is this, Grey's Anatomy? Then Harry's all jealous when he sees her with other dudes, and the next thing you know they're making out like there's no tomorrow and it all just happened so fast! I don't think anybody really felt any affinity for Ginny as a character. She was just Ron's kid sister, and she was kinda cute when she had that crush on Harry... But now she's the love of his life? Out of nowhere? And nothing? No. It just does not work for me. Rowling did not pull this off well. It felt more like the whole Harry/Ginny thing was forced, or obligatory.

10. Favourite characters.

Severus Snape, Hermione Granger and Tom Riddle Jr.
Snape, for reasons already mentioned in question2.
As for Hermione, I think it's simply because Harry would have had his ass kicked from here to Timbuktu by the end of Book One if it hadn't been for her. She's intelligent, which is something I admire in everybody who has it, even if the person is a first-class jerk. And even though I love Ron, I think Hermione's loyalty and commitment to Harry as a friend was absolutely never in question, which is something Harry came to realize a little too late. I've heard her being described as "emotionally weak" but I think that's bull excrement. Sensitivity and compassion should never be interpreted as signs of weakness. And yes, when she is under stress, she nags and she gets tense and snappy, but she always always pulls through and gets the job done. She sort of reminds me of my mom, actually. And it was utterly unfair for her to be stuck with two guys who just never understood her. She was a loner, all through. And I was a little stunned when it hit me that we know a heck of a lot more about Voldemort than we do about Hermione. She is, in her own Hermione-ish way, just as much of an enigma as Snape was.

And as for Tom Riddle Jr, the handsome, intelligent young charmer who would one day reach the end of the road of self-destruction, perhaps Bawanie and I joined forces to make him seem a little sexier, a little more enigmatic, tortured and doomed than he really was. And the image of Cillian Murphy doesn't hurt much, either. But our debate could probably be carried on for years; did he become what he was because he had no choice, because he was raised into it, because he was already losing his mind, or did he always have the choice to turn back, go the other way, and make something worthwhile of himself? A lot of it definitely came down to how terrible his childhood was, but on the other hand, just like Harry and Snape, I believe he always had the freedom to choose. And Warner Brothers had better cast Cillian Murphy in that part, or else I shall be very very distressed. Unless they come up with someone better.


11. What are your favourite things about your fandom?

Harry Potter by no means was responsible for turning me into a reader; I'd been reading for as long as I could remember. And when he came along I even resisted the craze for four years, before I succumbed and decided to give just one book a try. And I was hooked. I love the themes, the motifs, the allusions and allegories to other fictional works, myths and legends,I love the characters, the plots, I love the hours and hours I have spent reading and rereading the books, the literary essays, the critical texts, the endless hours of discussion and speculation, the new friends I made because of that one name; Harry Potter, the sense of anticipation at every announcement of a new volume, that knowledge that for one day at least, you and a bunch of other kids all over the world are waiting and wanting for the same thing, for the same reasons. I love the way all these things have seeped into my subconscious and somehow or other have become part of my memory, part of my childhood, and by extension, a part of myself. And there's nothing more you could ask for from a book.


12. What are your least favourite things about your fandom?

I wasn't too happy with Books 5,6 and 7. It felt like Rowling's standards were declining, like she was fading under the pressure of having the whole world hanging on her every word. And later on it even seemed a little bit like she was just milking the cash cow for as long as she had the chance to. But I'm willing to overlook those aspects, very graciously. Harry Potter has given me more than it has taken away (well, it did take quite a bit of my dad's money).

13. What is your deep, dark fandom secret?

I used to read fanfiction.
And sometimes I wish Hermione and Draco would have hooked up.
Oh well.

Coming up, specially by request from Bawanie, 10 Or More Fictional Female Characters I'd Like To Strangle.

Because We're All One Big Stinking Mutual Admiration Society

I have been tagged, thanks -or no thanks- to Aisha. I don't really mind. Tags like this one merely serve to satiate my inner narcissist.


6 things I'm passionate about
*Jake Gyllenhaal
*Spreading the music of Sigur ros, and tying people down and shoving it down their throats if/when necessary.
*Dissing Steven Gerrard to anybody who will listen. Manchester United supporters particularly emphatize with my plight.
*Stalking bookstores for hours at a time until I start creeping the salespeople out.
*Stalking hot tourist boys at the Arrivals section of the airport.
*Chocolate.


6 things I say too often
I don't believe I ever say a particular word or phrase too often. I don't have a trademark, in that sense. I can, however, list down six things I may or may not have said within the last five days or so.
Or not.

*The other side of the mushroom, of course!
*If Cillian Murphy dies first, there is no way in hell I'm sitting here and watching the rest of this trashfest.
*She told me he gets the same reaction when he uses Photoshop more than four hours at a time.
*Excess display of manliness on the flight deck!!
*Wow. Beckeye was right about those boob ejector seats on Paula's dress.
*Where's the chocolate?

6 books I've read recently
We'll have to make this 6 books I've reread recently. I don't remember the last time I got a new book.

*Blind Willow Sleeping Woman by Haruki Murakami (thanks Grace!)
*Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
*Fragile Things by Neil Gaiman
*Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer
*White Teeth by Zadie Smith
*The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon


6 songs I could listen to over and over again
*The Libertine by Patrick Wolf
*Our Love is Beautiful by Ethan Gold
*that I Am-I Am-I Am song from Nacho Libre.
*The Boy With the Thorn in His Side by The Smiths
*Karma Police by Radiohead
*the Supercallifragilisticexpialidocious song from Mary Poppins

6 things I learnt in the past year
*It is not a good thing to get a sudden toe cramp in the middle of a gig.
*I have especially fine blood vessels.
*Punching the keyboard will not make MSN messenger start working again.
*Cramming and swotting 45 minutes before the most important History exam of your life actually works.
*The answer is 42.
*There is no way you can get a decent night's sleep in a hospital room.


6 people to tag
*The Ghost of Corporate Future
*Thom Yorke
*Jake Gyllenhaal
*Maggie Gyllenhaal

*All other assorted members of the Gyllenhaal clan.
*Grace, because she needs to update.


It's rather strange how inspiration strikes one, isn't it? I was watching Sunshine with my beloved brother last night. And just to make a little detour; Sunshine started off very well, with an interesting concept, but by the halfway point it totally lost focus and couldn't seem to decide whether it wanted to be a philosophical science fiction character study or an action/slasher/the-world-is-ending flick, and simply ended up being a messy jumble of all those things.
But I digress.
What I wanted to say, to any of you who happen to be Harry Potter fans, is that I may just have thought of the perfect person to play Tom Riddle Jr in the movies. I'm quite serious about this. This may be just the most incredible piece of casting ever in the history of Hollywood. This could be a defining moment in popular culture! This could be the corner stone, the standard upon which all future casting decisions are made!
Therefore, to take on the crucial and highly complex role of Tom Riddle Junior in future HP movies, I strongly suggest that Cillian Murphy be given the part, without an audition.


He's utterly perfect for it. Not only does he match the physical description of Riddle to a tee, he also has that extra ingredient of being dangerously, ominously good-looking. There's a certain trace of madness about him, that slight hint of insanity in his eyes (especially if you have watched Red Eye) and you somehow know that he's completely capable of the levels of self-destruction that his character reaches in the books. If this picture I posted doesn't quite do the trick for you, well then. You know where Google image search is. Go on! I honestly do not understand why the producers are killing themselves over the casting of Tom Riddle. Cillian Murphy, people. It's a no-brainer, I tell you!
I'd still like to know what the Potterheads, and even the non-Potterheads, think about this. I believe this must be some sort of epiphany, a rare stroke of genius, a dawning of Truth. I have Bawanie's word on my side. She claims casting Murphy would be "creepy", which is the point after all, and I take it to be the highest level of approval. After the extremely unsatisfactory choices of actors to portray certain other characters, who shall remain unnamed, it is only fair that David Heyman and his minions should get this one right, at least. If I can get enough people to agree with me, I may just draw up a petition or a memorandum or a whatchamaycallit and chuck it in the general direction of Warner Brothers' HQ.

Of course, it all depends entirely on whether Cillian himself would want to take up the offer.
Shoot.