Murderifying The Queen's Engrish, One Lah At A Time.

So, 2009 marks Malaysia's 52nd year of Independence from those darned Brits (click here for those who seek enlightenment and for those who have forgotten what a History textbook looks like) , and although the national celebrations and stuff were over two weeks ago it's never too late on this here blog. And it really got me thinking, because at this moment in time, Malaysia's government, politics, society and mainstream media are all submerged in various degrees of the bogs of Suckage. So I'll concentrate instead on the one thing that makes my country genuinely awesome in its own right (not the food, surely, that would take far too long) .

Manglish.

Yup. Much like the word suggests, it is a frankly horrifying linguistic trend where English, Malay and various other local dialects are mangled up into a form of spoken English with absolutely no regard for grammar, decency, or the art of making sense. We say "lah" at the end of every sentence, we go all out for direct translation, and we have discovered more uses for the word "one" than possibly any other civilization in history. In fact, the majority of Malaysians speak at least four languages ; Malay, their own dialect or the mother tongue of their ancestors (depending on where the aforementioned ancestors came from), proper English, and Manglish.

For instance, where someone who spoke proper English would say "There is no such thing" or "That can't be possible", your average Malaysian would simply burst out with the indignant exclamation of "Where got?" , which is basically a direct translation from Malay, and therefore hopelessly flawed. Manglish is of course, strictly used on the streets or in informal situations, and is never taught in schools (but if got means, like that cekap lah wei). Similarly "How is this possible" becomes "Where can?", "Are you sure" becomes "Sure ah?"
and so on.

The particle "-lah" is also of extreme importance in speaking Manglish. Imported from Malay, it is used at the end of virtually every sentence, and where it was once used to simply affirm a statement, the"-lah" has achieved a nearly infinite level of functionality. For example, you may say "I am a blogger". Or in Manglish, "I am a blogger, lah". Naturally. Or "Don't be stupid lah". A mere change in the inflection of the "-lah" can mean so many things.

Some other words of interest include ;

"terrer" - (pronounced as the English "terror") Refers to someone or something being awesomely amazing or good

"blur" - confused, out-of-it. Roughly equivalent to "spacey" in American slang.

"kantoi" - to get caught

jom- let's go

"tahan" - to stand, to bear


I'm feeling somewhat lazy at the moment, so if you want to learn some more ah, you go here lah. Wikipedia very best lo, got tell you so many-many things one. I give you one more lah, this one you can listen to what Manglish sound like when got people sing one. Very terrer lah.




Although naturally, for album recording purposes, the grammar on this is impeccable compared to what is usually spoken.
Now go get educated. Leave comments in your bestest Manglish for extra credit.
Lah.