Grammys 2009
The Stuff That Sucked
1. U2's opening performance.
I did not get this at all. I mean, in all seriousness, this was BAD. A lousy song to start with, and Bono prancing around, reminding us all that he is, in fact, God. Also the lyrics weren't all that inspired or catchy for them to be featured on a big screen behind Bono's still rapidly expanding noggin. Blah. And I woke up at 8 in the morning for this.
2. Katy Perry , and by association also the Banana Elevator
Is that the only form of humour this woman knows? The phallic-saturated kind? It was never funny to begin with and still isn't. I thought it would be impossible for her to get on my nerves any more than she already has, but how wrong was I? I wish she'd stop bending over (literally) to convince us of her so-called quirky, oddball, booger-picking , shameless sexual-innuendo-ing brand of extremely-not-funny-ness. That Banana Elevator had better make itself useful and like, kill her to death one of these days.
3. The whole awards ceremony was three and a half hours long and barely 10 trophies were actually given out during showtime. But I suppose I really shouldn't be whining. I have watched the Grammys before, after all.
4. Lame jokes that nobody laughed at.
Now those were painful. Justin Timberlake's "General Store" joke made me want to crawl under the coffee table and rot, it was that bad. Gosh they have some sucky writers over at Grammyland.
5. Miley Cyrus
She's everywhere.
I cannot stand it.
Stuff That Rocked
This. Because two-fifths of Radiohead + some random marching band = Awesomeness of mind-boggling proportions.
And that is how you boogie, Thom Yorke-style. Take notes, you undeserving peasants.
Gawsh. Jonny's hair is so Pretty. I want to touch it. So bad.
Random Uncategorizables
1. Coldplay's jackets made my eyes hurt, and not in a good way.
2. Although, at least Chris Martin's "We're limestone rock" quip was rather cute.
3. M.I.A got robbed! They should have let her sing the whole song, man.
4. Adele was making eyes at the Jonas Brothers during her acceptance speech, and I don't quite know what to make of it.
5. It is creepy how much Katy Perry and Zooey Deschanel look like each other. (Sorry, Zooey)
6. The Jonas Bros. have weird guitar-playing faces. I don't know what to make of this either.
7. John Mayer isn't funny anymore. He may be a jerk for life but at least his speeches used to be funny.
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Slumdog Millionaire (2008)
Now, unless you've been living under a rock for the last few months, you'll all know what this is about. An 18 year-old from the slums of Mumbai, Jamal Malik, joins the Indian version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and kicks ass until he is arrested and tortured under suspicion of being an epic cheat. Thus begins an alternating-timeline narrative of different chapters from Jamal's childhood and recent past that correspond to every question he has answered correctly on the game show. Because, as the tagline in the trailer says, "every moment of his life is a clue to the answers". Cool shit eh? Oh and naturally there is also a searching- for-lost-true-love storyline in there, which is actually very dominant. Based on the fabulous novel Q&A by Vikas Swarup.
What I Loved About Slumdog Millionaire
1. The soundtrack. Or the score. The whatchamaycallit. The music in this one is spectacular. Not just the obvious doses of Awesome from the incomparable M.I.A, but also and especially the original compositions. A.R Rahman has surpassed himself and kicketh proverbial arse in this department. And you can count on my word because I've had the man's music shoved down my throat by the Parental Units for the last 18 years.
2. Cinematography. I can sort of see why this matters now. There were some mucho wacky shots from practically every angle imaginable and every perspective in existence, even for the simplest of actions, but not in a way that was in excess or gave you a headache or anything. It just made regular stuff like running look like something new and magical that you've never tried before. And there was plenty of motion in this one. Fast motion, slow motion, reverse motion, downwards-looking-upwards motion, upwards-looking-downwards motion, but hardly ever no motion.
Or maybe Twilight was so crap that everything else looks good in comparison?
Meh.
3. Dev Patel. Such a blank , straight-faced dork! He was on Ellen just a few hours ago, and I was constantly Aww-ing at his sweet dorkyness. Of course, he's British, so he's more of a verbose, impressive-sounding dork, if there is such a thing. It matters not, though, for my brand of dork-love discriminates not.
4. They used Sigur ros in the trailer, and did not bastardize the song. One sure way to win my heart, that.
5. Subtitles! According to imdb only 25% of the movie's dialogue is in Hindi, but hey. I love them subtitles. They make me feel smart. Oddly.
6. The child actors who play Jamal, his lady love Latika and Jamal's brother Salim, at different stages in childhood and adolescence. Some of these kids were actually handpicked from the very slums this movie depicts,and for them to pull of such amazing performances is monumental indeed. Also, they are simply too adorable for words.
7. The little Bollywood song-and-dance number at the end credits. Too cute, people. Too. Cute.
What I Didn't Love About Slumdog Millionaire
1. Some scenes would have been way more powerful, with greater emotional impact, had the dialogue been in Hindi. In fact I sort of wish the whole thing was in Hindi. It would have seemed more natural, for one thing. But hey, the director's a Brit, and it was clearly made with a Western audience in mind. So I'm not really complaining, because it could have been a whole lot worse.
2. This is not exactly the movie's fault, but having read the book beforehand, I couldn't help but feel more than a little underwhelmed by the film itself. For one thing, it is my tendency to nitpick over details (like the fact that Salim isn't actually Jamal's brother, or that Latika is in fact two different characters rolled into one, or that Jamal's actual intentions in the novel were geared more towards murderous revenge than tender loving sentimentality, or the fact that his name isn't even supposed to be Jamal), and I also blame my imagination a bit. Sometimes it's just too vivid for its own good, and when certain scenes in the film didn't match what I had envisioned for myself in my head, it elicited nothing more than a "Blah" reaction from me. I didn't quite like what Danny Boyle chose to leave out, or add on, to ignore completely. And once, again, not the movie's fault.
The Verdict
10 Oscar nominations does seem like a bit too much, to be perfectly honest. It's not really the best movie I've seen, nor is it a "feel-good flick" in any sense, not when it contains some of the most disturbing scenes you'll ever witness on celluloid. Neither is it the kind of movie you'll be wanting to watch over and over again (not without a month's interval between each viewing) because it does get exhausting after a while. But it did give me some major warm fuzzies and sentimental blathering, and I can't quite explain it but there's just something about Slumdog Millionaire, much like Jamal himself, that gives you this insane urge to want to root for it, no matter what. Part of it is the appeal of the underdog, obviously, but there is also an intangible something else that this flick has got going for it. It's just so intensely root-able. All in all, definitely a movie you have to watch at least once, and you will end up either worshipping the ground it walks upon or hating its guts. Because I have yet to come across anyone who is even remotely neutral about it.
