"We Got No Money But We Got Heart". Also, Some Thoughts On The Oscars.

This week marked the first time in my life I wasn't home to watch the Academy Awards, although I woke up for a super early breakfast so I could live stream the red carpet and all the annoying presenters and stuff on my laptop. I have still not seen the full ceremony, so I can't really comment on James Franco's hosting chops. This saddens me, because having James Franco host the Oscars happens to have been a lifelong dream of mine (and by lifelong, I mean two years ago).


The consensus seems to be that he was stoned, or pretty much sucked, or both, and there seems to be an air of general annoyance. I can understand how his ubiquitousness would get on some people's nerves ; the guy has been everywhere. Published a book, had his paintings featured in several art galleries, hosted SNL, got nominated for the Oscars, hosted the Oscars, and established a college course on James Franco, about James Franco, through the medium of James Franco videos, taught by James Franco. So he's either as incredibly talented as his body of work suggests he is, or his head really is that far up his ass, or he's playing some sort of epic meta-joke on us all. Whatever the case, he still looks indecently delicious in a suit.


Yeap. I'd still hit that.

I'm fairly indifferent towards most of the night's big winners, mainly since I have only seen two of the nominated movies. Inception was one that I had been looking forward to for ages, and the whole thing ended up leaving me just a wee bit underwhelmed. Don't get me wrong; I enjoyed it and I still do and I went through that week or so where I hunted down everyone I knew who had already seen it and grabbed them by their shoulders and went all "BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAAANNN??!". I was simply expecting a great deal more, and Inception, while being great and all, just doesn't quite do the job upon repeat viewings.

The Social Network went all opposite on me, though. I was deliberately paying as little attention to it as I possibly could, but then I found out that The Puppydog of My Soul, Andrew Garfield, was going to be in it. So, you know, I had to watch it. It was a very very very pleasant surprise to discover how much I enjoyed watching this film. It's not mindblowingly good or original, and I wouldn't go so far as to call it a generation-defining movie, but it is solid and extremely entertaining.

Things that make The Social Network awesome

1. The dialogue is terrific. It's not the kind of stuff you could go around quoting in daily conversation, but it's pithy and motormouth-paced and completely zinging. Every time one of the characters is done going off on a Harvard-level courtroom rant of PWNage all I want to do is pause the film and give them a standing ovation for a while.

2. Jesse Eisenberg is a freak of talent. Bless him and his Jewfro and his dimples and his whole entire self.

3. Justin Timberlake was nowhere near as bad as I feared he would be.

4. The original score is chilling and understated and deserves every award being thrown at it right now.

5.The whole thing holds your attention without ever getting boring or lagging in pace. No scene feels like filler. I can honestly say I haven't paid so much unconditional attention to a movie in a long time.

6. This guy. I mean the blond one. Not the creeper behind him.


Before seeing the movie I was sort of vaguely aware of a very large blond person being part of the cast, but when Armie Hammer first appeared onscreen I simply had to sit up and go "Why, who is this and why on God's good earth have we not been introduced yet?". I usually never go for blonds but Armie is way too good-looking to be denied.

And the best part? Thanks to the fact that he plays the Winklevoss twins (TWINS, I tell you!) there is double the Armie Hammer in every scene. Two Armies. All the time. I hardly knew which Armie to look at, and it was a wonderful dilemma to have. If you find yourself struggling with this delicious conundrum while watching The Social Network, I would suggest that you just feast your eyes upon whichever Armie happens to have less clothing on in that scene.
You're welcome.

Damn straight there's two Hammers up in here.

Also, his voice is utterly hypnotic. As I have already said elsewhere ; if sex had a sound, it would probably sound like Armie Hammer, because his voice, it is the sex. If I were rich enough, I'd hire Armie Hammer to follow me around campus and read me my lecture notes. My grades would go through the roof, I tell you. And here he is being disgustingly gorgeous at the Oscars with his lovely wife.


Disgusting. It's disgusting how pretty they are.


In other news, I just got back from a lecture on post-modernist and post-structuralist feminism, and while it was tremendously interesting, I have a headache from trying too hard to understand it all. I swear these academic types just sit around smoking pipes and making shit up. Damn them.

In other other news, this is the cutest music video I have seen this year. The song itself is also catchy like woah, and I find myself singing "Do you know this house is falling apart?" to myself everytime I'm going up or down a staircase these days. for some reason.



I just keep repeating the part where they all dance in the basement in neon spandex. Those moves are sick, especially the Frantic Hand Flailing. I think this song may just be my 2011 equivalent of Hockey's Song Away, and that is a bold proclamation indeed.

Let's Get Frivolous, Frivolous.

Beckeye's latest post reminded me that there really hasn't been enough shameless, fully-fledged fangirling around these parts in tooooo long a time. And there needs to be more of it, because I only have a year and then some left in my period of teenagedomhood, that blessed phase of life when you can blame pretty much everything on raging hormones and get away with it.

Here then, I present to you an epic dose of hormonal frivolity (the best kind) in the form of a dozen or so specimens of masculinity who sexed up 2009 for the BAP (and maybe a little bit of 2008 as well). And keep in mind that this isn't an All-Time Hotties list. There's no way I could ever limit that to 1o or 12 people. I've already taken liberties as it is.

Chace Crawford
Never having been much of a Gossip Girl advocate, I was only vaguely aware of the fellow's existence, somewhere along the fringes of my everyday consciousness. Perhaps as a much better-looking Zac Efron. There was that one time I watched him drive himself to to tears on E!Entertainment News, talking about how mean the paparazzi are, and I went "Awwww" for a bit and then proceeded to forget all about him. Until one fateful Saturday afternoon when I was innocently channel-surfing and stumbled upon a repeat of an old Gossip Girl episode, featuring the aforementioned Chace of the Crawfords running across a suburban street, dressed in nothing but an impeccable pair of blue boxers. That did it. Really. Never have I so fully grasped the elusive nature of the show's fanatical appeal. And I sure do not resent the fact that I can only admire his perfection from a distance, because being in such close proximity to somebody so much Prettier and Shinier than I am would cause irreparable damage to my already fragile self-esteem.



Matthew Goode
It's the accent, I tell you. That, and the special brand of aristocratically snarky British sarcasm mixed with equal amounts self-depracation. Also that vibe he gives you that suggests he may just be a tad gay. Also, his nose. I have a thing about the man's nose.




Kings Of Leon
Yes, all of them together (even the chubby one) , as one cohesive unit of sexualness. It helps, considerably, that they have all shaved, gotten haircuts and wardrobe overhauls. Also that their lyrical and musical profundity has matured beyond songs about alcohol, blowjobs, and knocking up girls. Needless to say, this lot emerged from one heck of a gene pool (thank you, Mama and Papa Followill) and I really don't care that they once had to ban their female fans from taking pictures with them because all four guys got molested so much. But hey, them Followills are the ones wearing ridiculously tight jeans and yowling about Sex On Fire. I say suck it up, be sexy and deal.


Cam Gigandet
Robert Pattinson can take his stinky axle-greased hair and face powder and go sparkle himself to death on some bleeding meadow. This man is the best thing Twilight or anyone associated with it has done for the female gender.


Alexander Skarsgard

One of the finest things to have emerged from Sweden since, like, ABBA. You may recognize him in such masterpieces of pop culture as True Blood (in which he plays a dastardly vampire)and that Lady Gaga video(in which he plays an eye-patched but still dastardly boyfriend). Kicking back on the couch on Tuesday evenings to watch Alexander being blond, bitchy, bloodsuckish and bilingual has given me a great deal of enjoyment over the last year. Lie back and think of Scandinavia, y'all.


James McAvoy
I's amazing, really, that such a small man can pack that much sex appeal into all five feet and seven inches of his frame. Talk about talent. And his eyes, folks. His eyes. The way he looks at Kiera Knightley or whatever woman it is he's supposed to be in love with in that particular movie, he gazes at her like she's the most exquisite creature he's ever seen. Intense shit. Also, infinite number of bonus points for being a Scot (not that he can help it or anything, but still).



Paul Rudd
I've always thought Paul Rudd was pretty cute for an older guy, even way back in the day when he played Phoebe's boyfriend-then-husband Mike on Friends (I loved Mike. Mike was so awesome). It was some years later until I saw him again, this time in Knocked Up, and had I been wearing socks when I watched that, they would have totally been blown off (the socks, I mean). It is stunning how the man gets gorgeouser and younger-looking and funnier every year, and if he already looks this good now, I think I'd pee myself in anticipation of what Paul will look like when he's 70.



Jim Sturgess
The big brown eyes that remind you of warm nice things like brownies and teddy bears and mudpies. And the messy brown hair. The general air of puppydogness. The voice. The voice needs to be lovingly poured into a jar, sealed with linen and homemade beeswax and sold as microwavable comfort food. One could almost forgive him for being so bloody Liverpudlian.




Sergio Pizzorno
The guitaring extraordinaire of British electro-rockers Kasabian, who has pwned the art of creating simplistic but sexy riffs, and earned my eternal allegiance by creating this song. Not to mention he is Brit of Italian descent (a species of male I already have a professed fetish for), he is a badass mofo (albeit one with a rather nasally voice) and he has the audacity to actually look hot in a bandanna.



Paolo Nutini
Another object of my Brit/Italian fetish, and this one comes with the added bonus of a Scottish brogue and a fish-and-chips joint in Paisley. The boy is obscenely gorgeous, but that is not the full extent of his appeal, because hitting the genetic jackpot is no great achievement of individual effort, and being simply Pretty with nothing else going on for you is highly unlikely to impress me much (unless you are Chace Crawford and you look really really really good without a shirt on - I think I've made that abundantly clear). Paolo, fortunately, is a pretty terrific songwriter in his own right, and for someone who wasn't even old enough to drink (in this country) until a year ago, has the voice of an almost toothless old man with a lung problem , ravaged by a diet of whiskey, cigarettes and heartbreak. Sexy stuffs.



Ryan Kwanten
Ryan spent most of his screen time on the first season of True Blood being dumb, drunk or shirtless. He is a fairly decent actor and I know hardly anything about him, really, except that he is Aussie and that like Chace Crawford, he looks really really really ridiculously good with no clothes on. Someone also needs to make it clear to them True Blood writer people that the dude is not allowed to wear anything with sleeves ever again. Ever.



James Franco
This guy is an example of one of those celebrity crushes I genuinely respect far too much to really want to do anything dirty to. Honest. To paraphrase Beckeye, I'd rather bang his soul more than anything else. In fact, out of all the guys on this list, the only one I'd totally jump on and molest without a second thought, if given the chance, would be Chace Crawford (and maybe Ryan Kwanten- but that's about it). I mean, Franco is taking up a double master's course at UCLA, he reads James Joyce during breaks on set and knows how to spell Dostoevsky, he writes and paints and is funny and gorgeous to boot, not to mention he's also Seth Rogen's soulmate. Thank goodness it's all balanced out by the fact that he is just a tad vertically challenged, or else I'd be harbouring a great deal more resentment towards the Creator and Its evident favouritism policies.


You wouldn't believe how therapeutic that was.

You Always Objectify The Ones You Love

I haven't fangirled properly in ages (and I do mean ages; the days of Jake seem like centuries ago) and I really feel like it right now, so it is only right for you all to indulge me for a while. In fact, I fear that I may even be a little out of practice.
The subject of today's pursuits of shameless fangirlyness (the best kind, I'll have you know) is one James Edward Franco, the Epitome of several types of Awesomeness, and very much on the edge of the brink of being Jake's replacement. The following doses of Fluff, Superficiality, Pretty and Shameless Objectification are especially dedicated to Graceface (the only other human I know who seems to find the man as attractive as I do) and B.Rach (who fell disgustingly in love with him last Wednesday afternoon in roughly 46 seconds flat). So. Here be the fangirling.

Behold; The Franco


1. The Lips
Probably the part of his body I am fixated on the most. The dude's mouth, it is sinful. I could spend forever watching him talk, even on mute (which is kinda what I've been forced to do, thanks to the fact that this computer is too frakking old even to have speakers fixed to it), but it doesn't matter, because I really don't need to hear what he's saying. Everything he utters will undoubtedly be of geniusical proportions, but if I have to watch him while he waxes intellectual, it will really be quite a waste of his energy. Because I will not be paying attention. Sorry, bro.

2. The Smile
Ladies and gentlefolk, only a true Dork could possibly have a grin that huge. Seriously. It is huge and life-affirming and hilariously dorkish. And you know I happen to love me some dorks of the sexy variety.

3. The Funny
Hosting SNL, Pineapple Express, Acting With James Franco and this, just to make a few points. I dunno, but this Franco person may just actually perhaps possibly conceivably be a rather humorous fellow.


Ugh. His Prettyness has no business being on a crap show like SNL.

4. The Redundant-But-Very-Hot Gucci For Gucci Ad
Come on. Thirty seconds of James Franco broodingly brooding in a very broodish manner all over some swanky hotel with dramatic shadows flitting across the walls? And in black and white? GUH.

5. The Off-The-Charts IQ
I have mentioned before that it would be virtually impossible for me to seriously fangirl over a person, male or female, without at least the slightest bit of appreciation for their intellectual capacity. (Yes there is such a thing as serious fangirling). The Franco surpasses even my own standards in this department. He reads Tolstoy and Joyce, he is pursuing two masters degrees at two different universities simul-effing-taneously, he is taking a grand mind-boggling total of 62 subjects including terribly sexy ones like 20th Century American Literature and he's about to publish a novel he wrote himself, which Grace and I shall purchase by the dozens and tear the pages out to wallpaper our bedrooms with and save a copy for reading in the toilet or something. I have never wanted to shag a guy based on his brainpower alone this much before, and yes it helps that he is hot and funny and obviously does not take himself all too seriously. It dulls the impact of what would otherwise be a highly intimidating brand of intelligence. And yeah, you could say that his celebrity status ensures that university administration boards are all bending over backwards to tweak rules for him and bring him special treatment on gilded platters, and they probably do, for all we know. But the dude seems to actually want to go back to school and take truckloads of subjects nobody ever really needs or uses in real life. And a thirst for knowledge is one thing you cannot fake, however rich you are. Or however gorgeous.


6. The Artsy-Fartsy
The dude reads obscure, high-brow literature, and paints, and writes poetry, and helps pimp artists and authors nobody has ever heard of, and he sings (do not deny the ABBA) and probably secretly composes nocturnes and sculpts marble and makes wood carvings and charcoal portraits. Blindfolded. Hanging upside down. Using his teeth.

7. The Cheekbones
Have you seen 'em? You could bloody grate cheese on those things, I tell you.


8. The James Dean-esqueness
James Dean was one bad ass cool mofo, and the guy who played him in a movie and won an award for it to boot has to be just as, or at least right up there in the same range of bad assery as Dean himself. Ergo, James Franco is one bad ass cool mofo.



9. The Talent
DUH. I mean, boy can act his purdy face off. When he's choosing the right scripts, naturally. However much I may adore him, I cannot really call him one of my favourite actors quite yet, simply because almost everything he made prior to that stoner flick and Milk was kinda crappy. Have you all even heard of Flyboys? Meh.


10. The Girlfriend
Ahna O'Reilly does not annoy me in the slightest. Seriously. Despite her blondness and skinniness and disgustingly close proximity to the object of my affections, I have absolutely nothing against her. She just seems so nice and lovely and not-to-be-messed-with, all at the same time.


11. The Broodishness

He has the art of brooding down to a science. Or the science of brooding down to an art. Whichever way you look at it, dude's got it down.


12. Saul Silver
Awesomest. Stoner. EVER. And I haven't even watched the whole of Pineapple Express yet.


13. The Pretty


Yeah. Now, this is the part where I talk about what a great personality he has. Seriously.


What? I only objectify him because I respect him. That's all.








14. The Rogen


The chemistry Franco has with Seth Rogen is so FABULOUS, it is literally beyond comprehension. When they are together, they become hotter, sexier, funnier, dorkier, smarter and all-round Awesomer versions of themselves. Oh boys! Stop being so adorable and announce the engagement already.


15. The Blackbook Article

Greatest interview in the history of forever. Amen.

16. The Bad-Boy-Ishness

For goodness' sake, look at him. He's making the very naughty and bad-for-your-health act of smoking seem like pretty much the sexiest shit on earth! If that's not a rottenly bad example, I don't know what is. Also, he's an insomniac who forgets to shave. Oh how do mere females resist?
(And B.Rach, that shot up there, that's for you)

In conclusion, James Edward Franco = God.
Or, you know. Something roughly along those lines. Please, thank you and amen.

Drop That Blonde Thing Clinging On Your Arm, Franco.

Thinky Thoughts And Random Opinionating Regarding The 81st Academy Awards
(Because everyone else is doing it)


1. Robert Downey Jr. looked gooooood! He also says something about his wife being his date for "the rest of this incarnation", which would have sounded impossibly cheesy had anyone else said it, but Robert Downey Jr. isn't anyone else, he is Robert Downey Jr., and because Robert Downey Jr. said it, that line is now Epically Awesome.

2. I am in love with Anne Hathaway and her freakishly huge eyes.

3. Dude. MILEY CYRUS IS EVERYWHERE.

4. Hugh Jackman! He sings! He dances! He Australianizes! He hosts! Yay!

5. Those kids from Slumdog Millionaire were mighty adorable! But Dev Patel was adorablerer. Just look at the LOOK on his face everytime the movie won something. Too precious.

6. I actually really loved the stage and the entire set-up this time around. So much smaller and very crowded together, which gave this sense of warmth and intimacy I never thought we'd feel watching the Oscars.

7. Tina Fey + Steve Martin = Awesomeness of Truly Unexpected Proportions. They should host this shindig every year for the rest of Eternity.

8. Penelope Cruz's acceptance speech was going just fine until she started blathering on about "Art" and how we should all work hard to preserve its integrity. That kinda made me cringe in a massive way.

9. Dude. BEYONCE IS EVERYWHERE.

10. The guy who won Best Original Screenplay for Milk has a really pretty name, really pretty hair, and a really pretty and genuine speech. I am already in love with him, and I haven't even seen his movie yet.

11. The abundance of Coldplay music accompanying at least two of the movie montages made me rather uncomfortable. Coldplay and Oscars don't mix together, man. Despite all the Gwyneth Paltrowing.

12. Heath Ledger. Of course by then everyone and their grandmothers already knew he'd win, but it was still lovely when he did.
13. Oh look. Reese Witherspoon. The 2 regular readers of this blog may remember her as Evil Blonde Byotch Who Stole-eth BAP's Boyfriend.

14. The Judd Apatow Stoner Skit.



I realize this is the kind of thing people are either going to love or detest, but come on. They were trying to smoke the damned Oscar statue! And they were cracking up all over The Reader! And there is no way you could possibly project even an ounce of hatred upon the stonerifically brilliant improvisation of the ABBA song. Too funneh.

15. How awesome was it to watch James Franco watch James Franco suck Sean Penn's face?

16. James Franco couldn't pronounce the title of the German film that won for Best Short Film or something. That made Seth Rogen giggle. Which made James Franco giggle. Which made me giggle.
I mean, The Franco goes to like, 8 universities and maybe has 247 degrees to his name by now, and he's probably read Anna Karenina backwards and forwards about 93 times, and he messed up his pronunciation on the Oscar stage. That just made him waaaay less intimidating. And gorgeouser.

17. The Franco cleans up good. I mean, really good. I mean like, reeeeeeeeeeeally goood.

18. MARRY ME, FRANCO.
( I'm sorry, but after the Judd Apatow Stoner Skit, anything that wasn't a Franco pretty much ceased to exist in my mind).

19. I hereby nominate James Franco as host of the Academy Awards for the rest of Eternity. Amen. And Seth Rogen should feel free to tag alongeth.

20. This new gig they have going on, where past winners come out and speechify about the present nominees was okay, I guees, but likely to get over dramatic after a while. Not much of a fan of this, me.

21. Robert Pattinson is creepy as heck. Did you see those faces he was making as he presented the video montage thing? And while he was sitting behind Mickey Rourke? Goodness.It's lucky the dude has divine hair.

22. Kate Winslet won Best Actress, which was Awesome (and so is her dad!). Danny Boyle won Best Director and literally jumped around for a bit, which was also Awesome. Sean Penn won Best Actor and talked a bit about human rights and Important Stuff in his speech, which was nice, but all I was doing was waiting for him to mention James Franco so the cameras would have an excuse to cut to a shot of the dude. Never happened. Didn't mention Teh Franco once. BOO you, Penn. BOO. You already have like, a gajibillion Oscars. Would it have killed you to indulge me a bit?

23. Oh and also, everybody cried when Heath Ledger won. Everybody. Every. Body. I'm a bit suspicious though, because they're all such great actors, y'know?


And Franco, I saw you on the red carpet. I did. You had something blond and skinny hanging off your very cerebral and intellectual arm. I shall be needing you to drop said blond skinny thing and come running in this direction with as many Tolstoys and Nobokovs as you can carry. Please, thank you, and amen.



Just a random black and white shot, people. That just happens to maybe possibly apparently have a James Franco in it.

Stuff That Was Awesome In 2008

Guess I felt like blogging again.
Meh.
Now, it's December and all, and any and every blogger worth their salt has been coming up with some plain kicktastic end of year lists of the best music and movies of the last 12 months. I don't feel justified in compiling such lists, because my taste in music ain't all that rad compared to some of you others, and while my taste in movies really is awesome, I haven't watched enough films that were actually released this year in order to merit a properly legit list of that kind. Instead, I am just going to put up a list of very random awesome stuff that made the awesome rounds in a most awesome fashion in 2008.
So.

BAP's Stuff That Was Awesome In 2008

(Wait- is it was awesome or were awesome? Stuff is plural, but you can't count stuff...and were just sounds wrong- oh it's Christmas. Screw grammar.)

1. Dengue fever

Now, see, dengue isn't awesome in any way. It's terrible. You're burning up all the time, everything you put in your mouth tastes like garbage (even water, which, as we all know, has no taste) you throw up roughly 2.75 times a day, you throw up even when there's nothing left in your gut to throw up, on account of you not eating because everything you put in your mouth tastes like garbage anyway. But despite all that, the dengue was awesome, because it added to my life experience, in a way. It was the first time in my life I was ever truly sick. It was the first time I had drips put in. It was the first time I had to stay in hospital. Ever. It was the first time I ever had people come visit me in hospital. It was the first time I had my freaking liver damaged. And because I was basically at the final stages of the illness by the time I was hospitalized, I was allowed to eat pasta and stuff from the Pizza Hut next door, which rawked. I don't get takeout in my own house. And I got to skip two days of school. So yeah. Having dengue fever was awesome, to a degree. Just so I can tell people about it and have them feel bad for me.

2. Sigur ros


Sigur ros is awesome all the time. They just never take any time off from their perpetual State of Awesomeness. Ever. And 2008 was no exception, as they released a brand new album, their fifth studio effort (or maybe it's the sixth, I've lost count) með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust ,which is made up of awesometastic proportions, and proved once and for all that this band is simply incapable of producing bad or unawesome music. They just cannot do it. I believe they were also on tour with Bjork at some point this year, and we all know that Bjork is awesome by default.

3. Doctor Who Series 3 Episode 10 : Blink


I have never watched any of the retro Who episodes, but of all the ones I have seen, Blink takes the cake and the icing and the everything. And there is only about 5 minutes of the Doctor himself in the entire 45 minute show, and even that is being generous. Blink is so awesome, I watched it four times. Blink is so awesome it gave me multiple chills, even on the fourth watch. Blink is so awesome it makes me wish I had written it myself. Blink is so awesome, I will never ever look at a statue or a sculpture in quite the same way again. Blink is so awesome it almost made me want to move to Hull and marry a farmhand. Blink is so awesome it made me go around picking random stuff up and wondering if they would be good enough to be utilized as my Timey-Wimey Detector (which goes DING when there's stuff and makes hens explode). Blink is so awesome it has provided me with enough one-liners to last the whole of 2009. Blink is so awesome I want to marry it and have its babies. However inappropriate it may be.
And I'll take Sally for the Doc's next companion, please!

4. Neil Gaiman



Much like Sigur ros (see item no.2) Neil Gaiman never takes a break from his own perpetual state of Awesomeness. Here is a sexy sexy man who writes sexy sexy stories (except the last few chapters of American Gods. I mean, dude, seriously?) and in 2008 the man did not disappoint with his newest offering, The Graveyard Book, a very simply and sincerely told story of a boy with no name who grows up in a graveyard. And that's all you need to know.
Oh and the fact that it is awesome goes without saying, of course.

5. Donnie Darko


Yeah, so I caught up with the Cult of Darko roughly 7 years too late, but as it is in the case of nearly all good things, better late than never. I realize I have been fangirling too much this year to be taken all that seriously, but I honestly believe Jake Gyllenhaal will never be as good as he was in this film, as Donnie. It was an all-encompassing performance, by turns chilling, disturbing, heart-wrenching and full of awesomeness in every scene. An angsty psychopathic pill-popping arsonist with a penchant for art and the ability to see six-foot tall bunny rabbits named Frank and is destined to save the world? I mean, where the heck are you going to get another role like that? Jake was so good in this, I wanted to crawl under the couch and bawl my eyes out. The soundtrack to this movie is so perfect, it hurrrrts. The story appears to make no sense whatsoever, but you know that it is Awesome, and Awesomeness of this breed takes a lot of time and thought to truly be appreciated.

6. Jake Gyllenhaal

I think, that maybe, just maybe, I may have said enough about this individual for the year. I'll zip it. Seriously.

7. Help! The Movie



I don't even want to talk about it, it's too awesomely ridiculous. Go. Go forth and watch, and Bust Thy Guts Laughing.


8. The Pelle Carlberg and Club 8 Gig


Which I attended with Grace and her buddy, Boon Ken, made all the more sweeter by the fact that I almost cancelled my plans to go. I've always intended to put up a proper concert review of sorts, and I am going to do that next month, on the anniversary of the gig. And Boon Ken, if you're reading this, I'm stealing your pictures.


9. English Literature Classes

Which were an absolute lifesaver after the boredom and mind-numbing monotony of school. Sure, I have to bust my ass to get all the way to town to attend (and once, it was pouring with rain,but I went anyway, even though I do have to walk part of the way), and it's quite tough to think all intellectually when you've just had your brain mushed in school and your eyes are burning and and you're dreaming about your dinner, but it's such a relief to be able to talk about books in a language I actually enjoy speaking and writing,with people I can stand to be around, and it's pretty much four hours a week of escapism, really. And I get do it again for another year. Bliss.

10. Novak Djokovic Winning The Australian Open


It was the first time I had really gotten into tennis, and stopped viewing it as a posh rich person's sport where all you do is watch a ball fly back and forth across a net for anywhere between 40 minutes or 5 hours ( sometimes you also get to look at pretty people, I've realized). And I had so much fun with this year's tournament. I even watched repeats. Imagine! Repeats. And when Novak won it felt almost like a personal victory. Of course, after that he turned all whiny and bratty and I'm not quite sure what to make of him anymore.

11. Heath Ledger's Joker


I realize that practically every other blog on the planet is raving about the man, especially now that it's awards season and all, but really, what's not to rave? The dude's portrayal of The Joker was a full on CAPS LOCK AWESOME. I was trying to make up my mind about whether or not he deserves all the plaudits that are being heaped upon him, and wondering if he would have had the same admiring reaction if he were still alive today. And I guess he truly does.Deserve it , I mean. I've always maintained that it was a sort of a blessing that he passed when he did, or he would have been spending the rest of his existence trying to live up to The Joker. Or maybe not, we'll never know now. The man is nothing more than a stranger to me, however connected I may have felt to any of the characters he played onscreen, yet his passing did affect me in a way I'm still having trouble explaining. I mean, the very first song that played on my mp3 player the morning I found out about his death has now become The Heath Song, never to be deleted from the computer, ever (well, the virus messed with that, you know. But still. The BAP has backup files). So yes. Heath Ledger's Joker shall eternally be the epitome of Awesome, the level of Awesome to which all other actors will aspire to and probably never reach. And that's for the best, I suppose.
Oh and just so that we never forget how pretty Heath was:


There. The Joker was AWESOME but that makeup sure didn't do him any favours.

12. Pushing Daisies


Best thingamajibby on the television all year. And now my brother tells me it's being cancelled. Sinful, I tell you. Where else am I going to satisfy my pie needs? And my Ned needs? And my quirky humour needs? And my Kristin Chenowyth needs? And my Ned/Chuck/SQUEE! needs?

13. Radiohead

Yet another group of individuals who are incapable of ever not being Awesome (and Barb, I say that to make you happy). I believe In Rainbows was released last October, but who cares, really. It is packed full of awesome Awesomeness from start to finish, so it doesn't really matter at all what year it was released.
I shall now let the Awesome speak (sing?) for itself.



14. Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer

The book was a sort of reward to myself for snagging a bunch of As for My Very Important Exams, and it even kept me company during my dengue-afflicted days. It is AWESOME in many ways, my favourite Awesome part being of course Alex's very garbled, very exaggerated and very ridiculous narration of the "Very Rigid Journey". I suppose it's best if you start off reading without knowing a thing about the plot other than the fact that it is Awesome, and also more than a little bit sad. And if you get the chance, do watch the movie adaptation as well. It stars Elijah Wood and that moustachioed freak from Gogol Bordello (who actually does a fantastic job) and boasts a gorgeous soundtrack to boot.

15. James Franco

He's had a pretty awesome year, first with Pineapple Express, Milk, hosting Saturday Night Live, the Golden Globe nomination, and the Acting With James Franco tutorial videos.



The general consensus is that these videos are pretty funny, but I wouldn't know. See, my computer doesn't have any speakers. I know. Not awesome at all. And my lip-reading skills aren't that rad either, so you people will have to watch it and tell me how funny it really is, if at all. All I can attest to is that Franco's younger brother isn't all that bad-looking himself.



For years, I've regarded him as the Very Pretty but Somewhat Mediocre actor from the Spiderman flicks, but then he starts getting good. I mean, like, really good. I mean, like, PHWOAR the boy can ACT! moments of epiphany. Also other moments, like, PHWOAR the boy is PRETTEH! type of realizations. And then you discover less superficial things about him, like he paints, and writes poetry, and reads James Joyce and Doestoevsky on set, and is currently pursuing two masters at the same time at two different universities, and is taking like, I don't know, 62 subjects and scoring all As like nobody's business. I can't remember ever wanting to shag a guy for the sake of his pure brainpower alone this much before (well okay it helps that he's hot). But he has come perilously close to replacing Jake. Not to mention that he is also responsible for what is probably the year's Awesomest interview. And I do indeed look forward to see how his career goes off from here. In the meantime, feel free to talk nerdy to me, Franco.

16. The Many Hours Spent With Grace Who Never Updates

Yes, Grace, I had to put this in. I've had a pretty miserable year all things considered, and all those weekends we spent eating food that wasn't very good for us, spending money we didn't really have, watching movies that probably weren't worth the ticket prices, talking superficial talk, peppered with varying doses of hormonally-charged fangirling while being stared at all the time by other people, those times were utter lifesavers. In fact, they were probably what kept me sane in the year of 2008. So props to you, because you rawkz, and here's to another year of more of the same stuff, dude.


Cheers, and Merry Blogmas to you all, peasants.